Pictures and Words
by Seigi-san
Summary: A collection of stories inspired by fanart  which I've amassed quite a collection of xD . Rated T just to be safe. Neo/Mwu x Murrue
1. Chapter 1

- Neo x Murrue, AU (sadly, though we really don't know what they got up to or said to each other in Orb)

- Inspiration: http:/ /i5. photo bucket .com /albums /y151/ el_saz /Tandem% 20felix/ IMG_000010. png (remove the spaces)

* * *

The walkway was covered in flowers. Rather gingerly he made his way across, being careful to not tread on any of them. Easily more than a hundred bouquets and posies, along with wreaths, shapes and single blooms, and mixed with them were other objects and tokens - pinwheels, teddy bears, photographs...it was the oddest thing he'd ever seen, and also the saddest. The collection stretched all along the walkway up to the stone at the far end, which he'd passed several times in the fortnight or so he'd been here but had never had the time to investigate. Crouching down in front of the stone he brushed away crusted salt and rust on the affixed plaque to read it better. And he understood.

_A memorial. Now the flowers make sense. _Well, more or less. According to the plaque the memorial was for people that had died in the Battle of Orb, on June 15th CE71. A lot later in the year. _So why are these here now?_

"The Bloody Valentine."

"The what?"

The captain smiled sadly, brushing auburn hair over one shoulder. "Three years ago. A battle between ZAFT and the Alliance ended in one of the PLANT colonies being hit by a nuclear missile. It killed over two hundred thousand people. Didn't you hear about it?"

"I read about it," he admitted, "but it wasn't called that. What was on the colony?"

"Absolutely nothing. Just farmland and people."

Neo grimaced. _Not like they'd have cared. Just meant less Coordinators. Hope I wasn't part of it. _"I'm sorry."

She frowned slightly. "Why apologise? It wasn't your fault."

He shrugged. "I was Alliance. Wouldn't people blame me?"

"So were we, and no-one blamed _us_. It's not about revenge. Just remembering."

"That's why the flowers are there?"

A nod. "Though it wasn't built for that, people put flowers there anyway. It's become a memorial to all people killed in both wars, not just for one event."

"For everyone?"

She smiled. "Yes."

"Did _you_ put flowers there?"

The smile faded, she glancing down at her desk. "Not yet."

"Sorry. I didn't mean.."

The captain shook her head. "I know you didn't. It's alright. Usually I do, though they're more about what the day _used_ to be for rather than what it's become."

_Valentine's Day. _Though he had no reason to celebrate it himself he'd seen people doing so on the various ships and bases he'd been stationed on. Flowers, chocolates...all of it technically against the rules but not mentioned. It was just one day. "Do you think some of those flowers are there for that?"

"I'm sure they are." Her smile was back, though it was still a sad one. Reminiscent. _She's thinking about him again. _The idea always made him uncomfortable, even angry sometimes. He knew she didn't blame him for not being who she'd wanted, knew that she was happy for him to stay even though he was someone else, but he couldn't help but think that deep down she still wished he was her pilot.

* * *

"Someone's deep in thought."

Glancing up at the voice he nodded to the woman. She smiled. "Mind if I sit here?"

Neo shrugged. "Go ahead." The bench was one of several in front of the Morgenroete complex, all facing the sea and all pretty good places to think. When you were alone, anyway. He knew the Director lady hadn't just come to watch the sunset, and was pretty sure she'd speak up again in a moment.

And she did.

"Are you regretting it?"

"Regretting what?"

"Staying here. Staying on _Archangel._"

He sighed. "No."

"I see. But that sad look must be for some reason."

He raised an eyebrow. "That I'm pretty sure I don't have to tell you."

The Director smiled. "No, you don't. I just wondered if you needed to talk."

"She said that you were nosy sometimes."

The woman laughed. "I thought she might have. But seriously, if you want to talk, then I'll listen."

Neo shook his head with a rueful smile. "Was about a lot of things. That memorial out there - would it be all right for me to put something there? I figured that at least one Alliance guy should apologise for what happened, even if I'm not really part of that anymore. Plus, there are people I want to remember too."

A smile. "I think it'd be alright."

"That's good. Since she'll probably be putting flowers there for that other guy, I'll go with her."

The older woman regarded him with curiosity. "Does that bother you?"

"Should it? They were together."

"But you.."

"I stayed on that ship because I know I know her from somewhere. That doesn't mean much."

Another smile. "To you, it does."

He leaned back against the bench, looking up at the stars. "It's all I've got. It's not even a memory, really, just a feeling, but it's the only one I trust. So yeah, it means a lot. _She_ means a lot."

"Then why not let her know?"

Neo managed a smile. "Haven't I hurt her enough?"

"How do you know it'd hurt her? She let you stay with her, didn't she?"

"I guess.."

The Director lady patted his shoulder. "Give it a try."

* * *

It felt strange. She'd gotten the flowers from what remained of her garden on the cliff and gone to the memorial just like she had for the last two years, but it was going to be odd remembering a person that was standing right beside her. He carried a bunch of red roses (where he'd got them from she had no idea) and was staring at the plaque, expression unreadable. With a smile for him she knelt and carefully placed her flowers before the memorial stone with a silent 'thank you'.

He still said nothing, the sea breeze blowing hair in his face, and placed his own flowers beside hers. He'd looked faintly embarrassed when he'd asked if he could accompany her, but in truth she was glad of the company. The memorial was a beautiful place but always melancholy, and even more so on days like this. _I always end up thinking about things I shouldn't._

"You alright?"

Murrue nodded, accepting his hand to help her up - then blinked when he held out another red rose to her. "Hmm?"

He smiled. "Don't know if you'll accept it, but happy Valentine's Day."

She reached out to brush fingertips against the flower petals, only able to imagine how red she must have gone. "For me?"

He rubbed at scarred nose. "Thought it'd cheer you up. And as a way of saying sorry for reminding you of him."

She smiled and accepted the rose, bringing it close to breathe in it's scent. "Thank you." She tried hard to swallow the lump in her throat, but to his obvious dismay a few tears escaped before she could brush them away. "It's okay. Don't worry."

"Because of.."

"No. Because they're my favourite, and I haven't gotten one as a gift in a very long time. How did you know?"

"I didn't," he admitted quietly. "Just a guess." Stuffing hands in his pockets he stared out at the horizon, expression downcast. "M'sorry."

"Stop apologising." Brushing away more tears she smiled. "It's beautiful."

"Really?"

She laughed. "Of course, really."

The Colonel sighed, quirking a smile of his own. "I didn't know if it'd be okay. S'not something I've ever done before."

"Well, thank you."

He nodded, glancing back at the memorial. "Think they'd mind?"

"I doubt it. This is what Valentine's Day should be about, and I'm sure they'd agree."

"Yeah." Holding out his hand to her he smiled again. "Shall we go?"

Taking the offered hand she tucked the flower behind her ear. "Until next year."

_Happy Valentine's Day._

_

* * *

_

( OOC, I know. But never mind xD

please read and review! )


	2. Chapter 2

- Mwu x Murrue, AU after Seed

- Inspiration: http:/ /i5 .photo bucket .com /albums /y151 /el_saz /Tandem %20felix /seed -omake 21. jpg (again, remove the spaces)

* * *

It was a perfect day for laundry. The breeze blew right in off the sea, scented with salt and sunshine and setting the fabric on the washing lines flapping wildly. Shaking out a bedsheet she stood on her tiptoes to throw it over the line, pegging it securely against the wind before stretching out with a happy sigh, shielding her eyes to look out over the bay. Almost two years since she'd come to live here, turning the little blue-painted house into the kind of home she'd always wanted. None of it had been easy but with time she'd settled in, making friends with her new neighbours, and with the way things had turned out, she'd been glad she hadn't been alone. Taking a T-shirt down off the line she folded it neatly, smiling at the laughter from the other end of the garden.

"Are you chasing butterflies again?"

Soft babbles, the kind she heard when that person wanted something very much. Probably it was another butterfly or some other kind of bug - they were fascinated by them. Unpegging another T-shirt she hummed softly to herself, shaking her head at another peal of giggles - then promptly dropped the garment she held at another, very familiar laugh. Very slowly turning round she saw a figure kneeling on the grass beside the playpen, reaching out to take a tiny hand in his own. Unkempt, untidy - his clothes looked like they'd been slept in and his hair was all over the place - but instantly recognisable. He was smiling from ear-to-ear, and as she watched he laughed again when the little hand patted his cheek.

"How old is she?"

She opened her mouth but wasn't able to find her voice, instead embarrassing herself by beginning to cry. He glanced up, expression gentle, and beckoned to her. "C'mere."

And she did, running across the garden and into his arms, almost knocking him over. She wasn't able to stop the tears, but she knew he wouldn't mind. He held her tightly, nose buried in her shoulder, and let her cry until she couldn't anymore. Neither said anything more for a while, he just stroking her hair. How he'd survived, how he'd come to be here...none of it mattered.

"There now," he said softly, brushing the last of her tears away with a calloused thumb. "It's okay."

She hiccupped but nodded, scrubbing at her eyes with her apron. "M'sorry."

"Why are _you_ sorry?" He laughed a little, running a hand through hopelessly rumpled blonde hair. "I should be the one apologising."

Murrue shook her head, reaching up to trace a finger over a nasty looking scar on his nose. "You're here, aren't you?"

He smiled at that, closing his eyes at her touch. "Yeah. I'm here."

"Then there's nothing to be sorry about."

"Cept for how long it took me to get back here. And for.." He peeked over at the playpen. "I had no idea. I didn't mean for..."

"That's all right." She gathered up the baby and placed her on her lap. "I was happy. I still am."

His smile became rather bashful. "What's her name?"

"Sophie."

"S'cute," he admitted. "She looks a lot like you."

"Really? Erica and Lacus-san say the same thing, but I could only ever see _you_ in her." She brushed a hand over the little girl's blonde hair. "She acts like you, too."

He grinned at that, reaching out to tickle Sophie's cheek. "Troublemaker." The baby squealed in delight and held out her arms, causing him to blink in surprise. "She...but.."

Murrue smiled. "Go on. It's alright."

Almost gingerly he lifted Sophie into his arms, gazing down at her with some trepidation. She looked right back at him, expression one of perfect seriousness, then all of a sudden she giggled, waving her arms again. And he grinned, though rather shyly. "C'mere, then." He brought the baby closer to sit on his own lap, laughing when she curled hands around his shirt and looked up at him with a gummy smile. "I bet you're a little monster, aren't you?"

"Oh, she is." Shuffling closer she leaned her head on his shoulder. "She doesn't like bathtime or bedtime, that's for sure."

"That's no good, is it?" He aimed a mock frown at Sophie. "Misbehaving for your mom. You'll have to behave better for _me_, you know."

"You're staying?"

His eyebrows dipped in a frown. "Don't you want me to?"

"Of course I want you to. I just didn't know if.."

"If _I_ wanted to? Been trying to get back here ever since they let me out of hospital. I was worried too," he mused softly, running a hand over Sophie's hair. "That somehow you hadn't made it back here, or that you'd have found someone else before I found you."

"No."

"No?"

She smiled, closing her eyes. "Even if I'd been able to find someone who'd have accepted both Sophie and I, it wasn't something I wanted. _You're_ her father, and I wanted it to stay that way."

Mwu actually pinked, but did look pleased. "I see.."

"I'm sorry. This can't have been what you expected."

"I didn't really know _what_ to expect. She's a surprise, definitely, but not a bad one." He gazed down at where the little girl was playing with a button on his shirt. "I just.."

"I know." His own experience of family hadn't exactly been good - he was probably scared that he'd turn out like his own father. "We can take it slowly if you want - we find you somewhere to stay and you can visit."

He pursed his lips slightly, looking around at the house, and her, then down at Sophie. "Wouldn't make me a very good dad though, would it?"

"There's no way you could be a bad one. Really," she soothed when he looked dubious. "It'll be all right."

He smiled a little, lifting up his daughter. "What do _you_ think I should do?"

Sophie gurgled, chubby face lighting in a huge smile, and reached out to pat his nose. And he couldn't help smiling back.

"I think she'd like me to stay."

* * *

She was beautiful. He'd let himself into the nursery and sat carefully on a wicker chair, arms resting on the cot as he watched the baby sleep. He'd known right away that she was his, and though the idea made him nervous it also made him happy. _If we'd made it home together like we'd wanted, this would have happened eventually anyway. _As he watched, Sophie waved her arms in her sleep, drawing a smile from him.

"Sorry I'm late. But I'll make it up to you. Both of you."

"I wondered where you'd got to." The soft voice from the doorway made his smile grow, and he glanced up to see Murrue there watching the two of them. Pressing a finger to her lips she beckoned to him, closing the nursery door as he slipped out - then squeaked in surprise when he wrapped her in a hug. Her hair smelled of roses, just like he remembered, but also baby powder, which made him chuckle.

"I missed you.."

He kissed the top of her head. "I know. I'm sorry."

She moved closer, thin hands curled in his shirt. "Are you really here?"

"I'm really here. I promise."

"How did you.."

"I don't know. I woke up in a hospital about three weeks after the battle. After that I ended up in a sort of home for injured soldiers until I got well enough to leave. And then I started making my way back here. I didn't mean for it to take so long."

Murrue pulled away a little, lips curved in an affectionate smile. "I know. It's alright." Standing on her tiptoes she kissed his cheek. "Go get yourself cleaned up, and I'll make us some dinner."

He grinned. "How did you know I was hungry?"

"You're _always_ hungry." She poked at his arm, expression becoming one of concern. "And you've lost weight."

"Just a bit. But I'll be okay."

She crinkled her nose. "Now I have _two_ of you to look after." To his amusement she didn't sound at all angry about it - she actually seemed quite pleased. "The bathroom's just down there. Do you have clean clothes to change into?"

Mwu grinned. "Yes, ma'am."

She swatted him around the head and he laughed, snatching another kiss.

After the much-needed shower he made his way downstairs to find her in the kitchen, chopping vegetables and adding them to a large pan on the stove.

"I didn't know you could cook."

A raised eyebrow. "You never asked."

"True." Pulling out a chair he sat down heavily, trying not to wince but she noticed, frowning slightly.

"What's wrong?"

"Ah, nothing. Just a scratch." He smiled, hoping she'd leave it be, but being typical Murrue she wasn't about to.

"Show me."

Unwillingly he rolled up the cuff of his jeans to reveal the injury. Being just below his left knee it had been slow to heal, always getting caught on clothing or furniture, and he'd run out of dressings for it a few days before. She winced herself upon seeing it. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Didn't want to worry you."

She sighed, shaking her head, and moved to a cupboard above the sink to take out what looked like a first-aid kit. Taking out a bottle of lotion she knelt down to apply some to the wound, smiling at his little sigh of relief. "Haven't changed, have you?"

"And you're still mean."

"Mmm-hmm." Placing a dressing on the injury she motioned to him to hold it there while she wound a bandage around his leg. "You're going to take more fussing over than Sophie."

"Would you fuss over me?"

A mischievous smile. "I might."

_Sounds like fun.. _"Murrue?"

"Yes?"

"Can I kiss you?"

She peeked up at him at that, cheeks coloured a light pink. "You're _asking_?"

He shrugged, feeling oddly embarrassed. "Been a while."

"Not so long that you'd need to ask for permission." she chided softly, but she let him pull her close to sit on his lap. Reaching up he wound a lock of her hair around a finger before brushing his hand against her cheek, smiling when her eyes fluttered closed. And he kissed her, carefully at first then with increasing passion when she made no move to pull away. She made a happy sound, moving closer and winding arms around his neck, and when they finally broke for air he saw that she was crying again, tears sliding silently down her cheeks.

"Hey, hey, c'mon. No more crying, okay?"

She laughed and nodded, scrubbing at her face. "I'm okay. I just.."

"I know." He kissed her again lightly. "Not sad tears."

"I'm just glad you're home."

Mwu grinned, brushing away the last of her tears. "Yeah."

* * *

( Bit of a weird place to end it, but it seemed right to me lol.

Please read and review! )


	3. Chapter 3

- Mwu x Murrue, after GSD

- Inspiration: http:/ /i5. photo bucket. com /albums /y151 /el_saz /Tandem %20felix /framaryu10 .jpg

* * *

"You're back, then."

He raised an eyebrow. "That's not very nice. Aren't you pleased to see me?"

"I saw you yesterday."

A crestfallen look. "But that wasn't me. Well, it _was_," he amended, "but not _me_ me." When he still didn't get the reaction he so obviously wanted he sighed, broad shoulders slumping. "Are you mad at me?"

She didn't answer, tapping her stack of papers together and knowing he was watching her. In truth, she _was_ a little mad at him. For taking risks, for causing her pain, for making her care so much. She'd stayed here in her office because he didn't deserve to have had her there waiting for him all teary-eyed like the heroine of a bad war movie - he had too much to make up for. Getting up she crossed to the small coffeemaker and flicked it on, still not looking at him. He sighed again, the rustle of material indicating he'd shoved hands in his pockets. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but I'm not sorry I did it. I wasn't going to stand there and watch this ship go down. Either time."

"I know."

"Then tell me why you're angry."

"M'just tired." And she was. Tired of fighting, tired of waiting. Running a hand over her face she leaned against the table, glancing up at a gentle touch to her shoulder.

"It's alright." He offered a smile. "It's over now." And before she could answer he pulled her into an embrace, coughing when she thumped him smartly in the chest and tried to free herself. "That hurt.."

"It was meant to."

He sighed. "You're being really mean to me today."

"You deserve it."

"Probably I do." He continued to hold her close despite her (increasingly half-hearted) struggles. "I know I hurt you, and I am sorry for that. If you want me to go, then I will."

"I.." She looked up at him. He was smiling still, the expression affectionate but also sad, and he closed his eyes when she brushed a hand over his cheek.

"I didn't want a hero," she said almost to herself. "You saved the ship, helped us stop the war, and everyone remembered you for that. They all talked about how brave you were, how you were an example to others. But I didn't care about any of that. I just wanted you there." She managed a shaky sort of smile at his stricken look. "And you didn't need to hear that."

"Yes, I did." He pulled her close again, resting his cheek against her hair. "I needed to hear that. I'm really sorry."

Murrue laughed a little, brushing away tears. "Stop apologising."

"I didn't think I'd be able to apologise _enough._"

"Just once is enough. One apology, and one promise."

"What kind of promise?"

She pulled away slightly to look up at him. "That you come home with me. No matter what the military offer you, however badly they might need you, just come home. That'd mean more to me than any apology."

He blinked, then smiled, reaching up to ruffle her hair. "Didn't I say we could go home?"

"Yes, but you're a pilot. Don't tell me you wouldn't be even a little bit tempted if someone offered you a job where you could fly all the time."

"I..." Mwu ran a hand through his hair, looking faintly sheepish. "Well, that _would_ be kind of fun. But.." He noticed her impish smile and actually pouted. "You're not playing fair."

"No, I'm not, am I?"

He chuckled, leaning forward to press a kiss to her forehead. "I'll come home. It's what I wanted then, and what I want now. I've had enough of being a soldier."

Murrue smiled and hugged him, nose buried in his shoulder. Perhaps she and Erica could work something out that would mean he could still fly - he'd earned it.

* * *

She'd never asked him to choose before, but he thought he could understand why she had now. Leaning back on the small sofa he watched her make coffee for the two of them, smiling when she started humming to herself. She just wanted to be sure of things, that was all. And who could blame her? "You still mad at me?"

There was a smile in her voice. "Less mad than I was."

"And you're still being mean. What does a guy have to do?"

She turned around and blew him a kiss.

"Is that why you didn't come down to see me?"

"Mmm-hmm." Turning back to the coffeemaker she poured the hot liquid into two mugs. "You didn't deserve it."

He laughed. "Ouch. But you know, I'm glad it happened this way. Didn't really want everyone watching." Shuffling up to make room for her he slung an arm around her shoulders when she sat down beside him, pecking a kiss to her cheek. "Will you forgive me?"

A sweet smile. "I might."

"But I have to earn it first?"

She nodded, then squeaked in surprise when he pulled her close and kissed her. It was something his Neo self had wanted very badly but had always held back from - his presence had hurt her enough. But now.. He tangled a hand in her hair, smiling into the kiss when she reached up to wind arms around his neck. Deciding to see how far she'd let him take it he leaned forward until she toppled over backwards, she breaking the kiss with her laughter. "Stop that!"

"Nah." He nuzzled more kisses to her cheek and neck, laughing himself when she swatted him around the head. Eventually he did stop, but not before she was bright pink in the face.

"You're a pest."

"I am, aren't I?"

Managing to sit up and smooth out her ruffled clothing she let him rest his head on her lap, brushing thin fingers through his hair and over the scar on his nose.

"It feel weird?"

Murrue pursed her lips slightly, then shook her head. "No."

He smiled, rather drowsy now. "That's good."

"Were you worried?"

"Mmm. They're not exactly pretty."

"You have more, don't you?"

Mwu crinkled his nose. "Yeah. Top to bottom."

"You'll have to show me sometime."

He grinned. "All of 'em?"

She pinked, rubbing at her nose with her free hand. "W-well.."

_Still fun to tease. _Catching the hand that still lingered on his scar he pressed kisses to the fingers. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"Waiting for me."

A reluctant smile. "You didn't deserve that either."

He laughed. "No, probably not. But thank you anyway."

* * *

( xD I haven't written a rambling fic in ages.

please read and review! )


	4. Chapter 4

Inspiration: http :/i5. photo bucket. com/ albums / y151 /el _saz /Tandem %20 felix / 539 .jpg (remove the spaces)

MxM, after GSD

"I still wish you'd gone for something more elaborate."

Halfway through applying mascara she caught her friend's gaze in the mirror. "Didn't we go through this already? Things are fine as they are."

"You don't think it's too simple? Too quiet?"

She smiled, blotting off the excess makeup. "If we could have made it quieter, we would have. What's really important is the meaning behind it, not all the fanfare."

A sigh. "I guess you're right. Maybe I'm jealous." Moving to sit on the chair beside her the older woman passed her the bundle of lace, helping her pin it into place. "Ours ended up being something everyone picked for us, not what we'd have picked for ourselves."

"I wanted this to be a day just for us and our friends. Something everyone can remember."

"You wanted it to be a day for _him_." Erica corrected, adjusting the fabric around her shoulders. "A happy memory for someone who doesn't have many."

She nodded, twisting the silver engagement band around her finger. Though it had been over six months since the war had ended he still didn't remember everything about his past. Dreams and her stories had helped him piece together his time on _Archangel_, and events that had stood out like his graduation from the Academy and the battle at Grimaldi had been quick to come back to him. But other times, like his childhood and most of his time in the military, were hazy and fragmentary. _He pretends that it doesn't bother him, but I know that it does. And I can't help him. _

"It'll take time."

"That's what the doctor said. He thinks that everything will come back, but he wasn't able to say when."

Her friend laughed. "Tough call for someone with no patience."

"He has a little more than he used to, but not enough for something like this."

"Bet he's been fun to live with."

She leaned back in her chair. "Not too bad. Just the occasional fit of sulking, which I can deal with. And he is acting a lot more like himself now."

Erica snorted. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Maybe a bit of both." _More of a good thing, though. _"It's nice to see him smile again."

"He hasn't been smiling?"

"He _has_, but not like he used to. He.." She tapped fingers on the vanity, trying to find the right words. "It's like there was something missing. Like his heart wasn't in it."

"Doubt he's had much to smile about."

_Understatement. _He'd finally told her a few nights ago about the time he'd spent with the Alliance. It had taken several hours, he lying on the sofa staring blankly at the ceiling of their apartment while he spoke. _When it was over he smiled a little, said he'd understand if I wanted to call the wedding off. But that wasn't why he told me. He told me because he wanted to get it out in the open, didn't want more secrets between us. And he wanted forgiveness, though he'd never have asked for it. _"He'll be all right now."

"He will be once today is over." was the amused reply. "I saw him out front just before I came to help you. Boy looked terrified."

Murrue giggled. He'd admitted as much to her the night before - that he'd been less nervous about a battle. "I did tell him that we could wait a little longer. It's not like we need to rush."

"And what did he say?"

"That he'd thought about giving it a bit longer, maybe until next year." She glanced over at the bouquet of white and pink roses in its vase of water. "A bit more time to get used to things."

Erica pursed her lips. "Maybe you should talk to him first."

"And if we decide to wait?"

Her friend smiled. "We eat the cake. The dress and everything else can keep until you're ready."

The chapel smelled of flowers and furniture polish. He sat (okay, slouched) on one of the front bench things staring up at the stained-glass windows. It was peaceful, quiet - a bit of a contrast to how he felt. And it was dumb. _Of all the things to be scared of, why this? _Not the ceremony itself...that was words, rings, nothing complicated or worrying. It was more about what came after. All he remembered was being a soldier - he didn't have a clue how to live a regular life. Kira and the others had all settled right back into it, reconnecting with friends and family, but he didn't have anything to fall back on. Only Murrue, and he'd leaned on her enough already. Not that she agreed, of course. She'd been endlessly patient, listening to his thoughts and worries and always finding reassuring words. It made him feel better, but worse at the same time. _She's been through enough. She shouldn't have to shore me up like this._

"Erica said I could find you here."

Despite his worries, he smiled, still looking up at the coloured windows. "She said I wasn't allowed to see you yet. Something about tradition."

She made a 'hmm' sound, dress swishing on the tiled floor as she walked down the aisle toward where he was sitting. "That one never made much sense to me."

"You always did bend the rules."

Soft laughter. "Maybe I did. But it usually worked out." She paused at the top of the aisle to look at the same windows, giving him chance to stare at her. She'd resisted all attempts to get her into one of those big floaty dresses most brides wore, calling them 'meringues', and had picked out something much simpler. Her friends had been disappointed, but he couldn't say he felt the same.

"You look great."

Murrue peeked sideways at him, pink tinting her face. "You think so?" At his nod she fairly beamed, the expression making him feel fuzzy inside and (almost) evaporating his concerns. Holding out a hand he brought her to sit beside him, chuckling at the bare feet beneath the dress.

"Shoes weren't part of the outfit?"

She grinned. "No-one said I _had_ to wear them." Moving closer she rested her head on his shoulder, murmuring happily when he wound an arm around her waist. There was comfortable silence for a little while, he finding comfort in her presence like always.

"Think we should elope?"

"She'd find us."

He felt her smile. "She would. Or you know, we could just go home. Leave this for another day."

"Wouldn't everyone be mad at us?"

"No, I don't think so." She looked up at him, amber eyes softened with affection. "This isn't about them, it's about us. You and I, and what we're comfortable with."

Mwu smiled, brushing a thumb over her cheek. "You've been looking forward to this, though."

"But _you_ haven't. I could tell."

He sighed. "Just nerves."

She poked him in the chest. "Stop trying to hide things from me."

_I have been, haven't I? Old habits die hard. _Taking her hand he squeezed gently. "I just.." He scrubbed at the scar on his nose. "I have no idea what I do next."

"Neither do I."

He blinked, taking in her cheerful smile. "Really?"

Murrue nodded. "It feels like this changes everything. Like things won't be the same when we go back home. But they will."

"You think so?"

"Mmm-hmm. All this does it make it official. We just carry on as we have been."

"Even if I don't know how to do that yet?"

Her smile became fond, she leaning to kiss him lightly. "There's plenty of time to learn. For both of us."

"Both of us?"

"I can do 'captain' okay, and I'm pretty good at 'mechanic'. I don't know how to be a wife. But I'd like to learn."

He hadn't thought about it like that, but she was right. "Is that why you've been talking to the Director lady and Kira's mom so much?"

She blushed, fiddling with a lock of her hair the way she always did when nervous. "Pointers."

Mwu had to smile. "What did they tell you?"

"That they think we'll be just fine. And I think they're right."

"Even if we don't know what we're doing?"

She grinned. "Even if we don't know what we're doing. Yamato-san says that's why it's called 'taking the plunge'."

"How long do you think it'll take to learn?"

"Erica says she's still learning now."

"And you don't mind me leaning on you a bit longer?"

She squeezed his hand. "If _I_ can lean on _you_."

Leaning forward, he kissed her forehead. "Deal."


	5. Chapter 5

Inspiration - http :/ i5. photo bucket .com /albums / y151 /el _saz /Tandem %20 felix/ 49 after .jpg (remove the spaces)

MxM, AU after Seed.

* * *

The words were spoken softly and with sympathy. "You shouldn't be here." A calloused, grease-stained hand on her shoulder, a sad smile on his face when she looked round.

"They weren't going to tell you." he continued. "It was the kid and his friends who brought it back."

"I saw." she replied quietly. She'd been on the bridge still, waiting for news from _Eternal_ about Kira-kun. The sight of Rouge had brought a lump to her throat, tears to her eyes she hadn't wanted to shed in front of her crew. Phase shift down, it was identical. Miriallia-san had been there, hand on her shoulder. Rouge had been holding something, a grey hunk of metal she hadn't recognised at first. Chandra had been the one to realise it was Strike's midsection. And, heedless of their shouts, she'd run to the hangar bay.

Only now, she wasn't sure what she should do. Seeing him might help her accept he was gone, but wouldn't it be better to remember him as she'd known him? Running a hand through already rumpled auburn hair she leaned back against the wall.

"You look wiped out," Murdoch said not unkindly. "Why don't you go get some rest?"

"I.." She _was_ tired, but the idea of sleep.. "I don't know if I can."

Over on the far side of the bay technicians were working on the battered remains of the mobile suit with angle grinders and metal saws. The screeching and grinding sounds made her ears ring.

"The kid said it was so he wasn't stuck out there." The older man smiled again, this expression a little more genuine. "Though for someone like him, that might not have been so bad."

"He liked Orb." Murrue admitted. "He grew up near the sea, so I think it reminded him of home. I don't think he'd mind if we took him back there."

More screeching metal, the technicians crowding around the cockpit. She found herself moving forward too, frowning when Murdoch held her back.

"Stay here."

"But.."

"We don't know if.." He broke off, scuffing his feet on the deck. "I mean.. just stay here, okay?" With that he made his way through the crowd, kicking off from the deck to peer into the hole that had been made. Suddenly there was a flurry of activity. Everyone was talking at once, all rushing past. Kira-kun was there, along with Zala-kun, both boys reaching into the cockpit. And, very slowly, a figure was half-lifted out. From where she stood she couldn't see well, her view blocked (probably intentionally) by various mechanics, but what she heard...

"No 'welcome back', then?" The voice was weak and tired, but laced with a smile. "What does a guy have to do?"

Silence, then a ripple of murmurs spread through the crowd, several of the crew turning to look at her. Somewhat hesitantly she began to thread her way through the knot of people, peeking over Murdoch's shoulder once she reached the front.

He was sitting just beyond the wreckage, supported by a worried-looking Kira-kun. He still wore his helmet, or what was left of it - the visor was completely shattered, the face beneath a mask of blood. His pilot suit was burned and stained red in several places. Despite his injuries and the obvious pain he was in he refused to keep still, looking all around him.

"Mwu-san, we need to get you to sickbay."

"Give me a minute, okay?" He tried to stand up, glaring at Kira-kun when the boy tried to hold him back. Understanding what he was looking for and knowing full well how stubborn he was likely to be about it she stepped out from the crowd.

"He's right, you know."

He looked up at those words, bloodied face lighting in a smile of relief when he saw her. Unsnapping the chin straps of his helmet he tugged it off and tossed it aside, brushing fragments of the visor from his hair before trying again to stand up. Once on his feet he wobbled slightly, blinking at a rush of dizziness but refusing any more help from Kira-kun, even when he almost fell over again. And he held out his arms.

For a moment, she wavered. Though probably things weren't a secret anymore (if they ever had been) did she want to confirm it in front of everyone? He noticed her hesitation and shook his head with an affectionate smile. It didn't matter. Not now. Moving forward she hugged him as gently as she could, closing her eyes when he stroked her hair with a gloved hand. And she cried. She didn't know where the tears came from, but once they'd started they wouldn't stop. He held her close, still stroking her hair and murmuring comforting words only she could hear. He was hurt, he told her, but he'd be all right. She didn't have to be scared anymore. She wasn't alone.

* * *

He didn't really remember the trip to sickbay so well. Corridors flashing past, a babble of voices. She'd been there, of course - he wouldn't have gone without her - and she'd smiled whenever he'd looked at her, which had been a lot. He'd been cold, but her hand had been warm. _I didn't want to be sedated. I was scared that if they put me to sleep I wouldn't wake up. _He'd fought it, fought the medics. She'd calmed him down, gentle fingers stroking his hair. She'd promised him that it'd be all right, and that she'd be there when he woke up. And she'd stayed with him until he fell asleep.

Blinking back drowsiness he glanced around himself. Bandages (lots of them) and IV lines (also lots). A nurse counting bottles in a corner. And right there beside him, fast asleep with her head pillowed on her arms, was Murrue. Just like she'd promised. Not able to hide a smile he reached out and stroked her hair lightly, not wanting to wake her.

"She fell asleep just after you came out of surgery," the nurse said quietly, moving across to adjust one of the IV bags. "You were in for a few hours, so she must have been exhausted. We couldn't get her to leave, though, no matter how hard we tried."

Mwu chuckled softly. "Stubborn." Looking back down at himself he wiggled his toes. "How bad was I hurt?"

"More quantity than quality. Shrapnel wounds, some burns, but nothing we couldn't fix. You'd lost quite a bit of blood, but the captain and Ensign Yamato helped out by donating. They insisted, actually."

"No wonder she was so tired." He should be mad at her, he supposed - she never ate or rested enough, so giving blood was probably the last thing she should have done - but it felt kind of nice to know she'd given part of herself to help him. And wouldn't he have done the same for her? "How long do you think it'll take to get better?"

"A few months is my guess. Those dressings will need changing twice a day until the wounds start to heal, and you'll have some scars. Though probably they can remove them."

Mwu pursed his lips, poking at the bandages on his face, then glanced down at his sleeping captain. She wouldn't mind them, he felt sure. _She's accepted everything about me, good and bad. I don't think a few scars will make a difference. _"Will they cause a problem?"

"Not if they heal right."

"No need to bother getting 'em removed then." He grinned as an idea occurred. "Besides, if I get them removed how will people believe I survived a direct hit from a Lohengrin?"

The nurse just rolled her eyes.

He dozed for a while after that. Though his injuries didn't really hurt (probably there was a painkiller in one of the IV's) he was still tired, and there wasn't much else to do until Murrue woke up. In the last few days before the battle he'd started thinking about what they might be able to do once the war was over, and he thought about it again now in between naps. Maybe she'd agree to live with him? He was untidy, he knew - she'd chided him more than once for the state he kept his room in - but picking up after himself wouldn't be a problem. He'd just have to get better first.

_When she wakes up, I'll ask her._

To his amusement, when he woke next she was still asleep. The nurse on duty shook her head at his silent question - she hadn't woken once. Though he hated to disturb her he knew she'd be pretty sore from being hunched over like that, so very carefully he reached out and poked her in the shoulder.

"Nn."

"C'mon you. Time to wake up."

More mumbles. Trying hard to not laugh - she was really cute when she was all sleepy - he kept poking until she finally moved. Rubbing at her eyes she peered around somewhat blearily, then smiled when she saw him watching her.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better." And he did. Tired still, and kind of sore, but much better than he had. "Probably better than you, actually. How many times have I told you not to sleep like that?"

She laughed, stretching out until the joints popped. "Getting used to it now."

"You should have gone to bed."

A little huff and a frown. "I promised I'd be here, didn't I?" Sitting up she smoothed out the bedsheet she'd been lying on and adjusted it around him, glancing up when he closed a hand around hers.

"Thank you."

"I'd have stayed even if you hadn't asked." She smiled again, but he could see the tears in her eyes. "I was...I thought.." Closing her eyes she held onto his hand, biting her lip hard.

"Hey, c'mon.."

Another brave attempt at a smile. "I'm all right," she lied, even as a tear escaped to roll down her cheek. "Really."

Stretching out his other hand he stroked her hair then her face, brushing away the tears with bandaged fingers. "It's okay now. I'm here, you're here, and we can go home."

Murrue hiccupped and nodded, more tears falling. "I know. I just.."

"You were scared."

She scrubbed at her eyes. "Of course I was. Why wouldn't I have been?"

"M'sorry."

"No, you're not. You're glad you did it. Aren't you?" She shot him an accusing look, huffing again when he nodded. "I thought so."

"I couldn't have lost you."

More tears, dashed away with the back of a hand. "What if _I'd_ lost _you_?"

Mwu smiled. "You're stronger than me."

"No." Leaning forward she rested her head on his chest, closing her eyes as more tears soaked into the bandages. "No, I'm not."

* * *

( sort of a funny place to end it, but it seemed to work. I think for her there'd be relief mixed with anger that he risked everything like that. If he'd been better there'd probably have been a hefty slap involved.

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	6. Chapter 6

__Inspiration: http :/ i5. photo bucket. com/ albums /y151 /el _saz /Tandem %20felix /mwu orb angst. jpg

MxM, after GSD.

* * *

_Be careful what you wish for._

Something he'd heard a long time ago, a phrase he hadn't understood the meaning of until now. From the moment he'd joined this ship's crew in Orb his wish had been to remember. To get back everything that had been taken from him - his memories, the two years he'd spent as Djibril's shadow...his life. To be the person everyone said he really was. Mwu's life had to have been better than Neo's, right?

As it turned out, there wasn't much to choose between them. With the rush (more like a flood) of memories the positron cannon had triggered had come emotions, the strongest of which had been guilt and loneliness. Mwu had watched his home burn to the ground, watched his parents die. It should have been him, right? Everyone had thought so, he was sure, even when they'd denied it. Why should the imperfect one have survived? His aunt and uncle, who he'd been sent to live with afterward, had both said he was nothing like his father. Of course he wasn't. Father had always said that. That was why he hadn't wanted him.

_Mwu didn't want those memories. He pushed them to the back of his mind, built walls around them. Put a layer of confidence on top, one so deep no-one would ever be able to see through it. _Mwu had spent his life running, of flying far and fast in the hopes that the memories would never catch up. Even when history repeated, when the others around him all lost their lives in battle, he kept running. Too many ghosts.

_He and I really aren't so different after all. My wish was to remember, but it would have been better for us both if those memories had been lost forever._

"I always see you alone."

He didn't hear the kid at first. Standing at the observation window deep in thought, voices around him hadn't registered. At least, not until he felt the hand on his shoulder. Startled he jumped, spinning around in the low gravity to glare at whoever was there.

The kid regarded him with that oddly old expression of his, violet eyes narrowed as though trying to see through him. Just for a second, then he smiled a little.

"I haven't seen you in a while."

He shrugged, turning back to the window. Maybe if he ignored him, the kid would go away.

"Mwu-san?"

He almost smiled. Never anything else. The others had all referred to him as Colonel Lorrnoke, as he'd asked, but to Kira he'd always been Mwu, no matter how many times he'd tried to correct him.

"What is it?"

Silence for a moment. He could see Kira reflected in the window, the kid looking him up and down.

"There's too much, isn't there?"

He blinked. Not what he'd been expecting. "Too much?"

"Here." Kira tapped his forehead. At the curious look he got he smiled. "Things you don't want to remember, but you can't stop."

Nowhere in Mwu's memories had the kid been this perceptive. "How would you know?"

It was Kira's turn to shrug. "Everyone has them. Me, Murrue-san, Lacus, Athrun...all of us. But with you just having got everything back, it must feel like it just happened."

He nodded. In dreams it had been like he'd been living his life over, flashing past in images and sound.

"It wasn't _all_ bad, was it?"

"Most of it."

"But not all. What about here?"

Still gazing out of the window he placed a hand on the glass. Here. This ship had been - was - home. None of the others had felt like that. Right away he'd felt comfortable here, relaxed, as though the place was welcoming him back. Even sickbay had felt like that. Mwu had been similarly happy, he knew. Laughter, friendship, a sense of belonging he'd never known before. And...

"Isn't it better to think about good things rather than bad?"

He smiled himself slightly. "There's more bad than good."

"But they're only memories. Things that happened before. What about everything that happens after this?"

"I don't know what happens after this."

"That's my point." Kira moved forward, leaning against the window to look right at him. "Maybe you can't forget everything bad that happened, but at least you can try and make good things happen from now on." A rueful sort of smile. "Don't make my mistake. It's taken me two years to stop living in the past."

"How do I stop?"

"You find someone who can help you. Someone who knows you better than anyone."

He shook his head. "I don't deserve her. Not before, and not now."

Kira patted his arm. "Why don't you let _her_ decide?"

He made it sound so simple. She would help him, he knew that. She'd sit beside him and listen to everything he was thinking and feeling, and afterwards she'd let him lie close. Just like before. Mendel had caused nightmares, he jerking awake in the darkest part of the night drenched in sweat, but no matter how late the hour or how tired she'd been she'd always been there, holding him close and stroking his hair until he fell asleep again. She'd had enough to cope with - surely she hadn't needed that on top of it all.

_"That doesn't matter,"_ she'd told him when he'd tried apologising. _"Not if I can help."_

She'd done so much for him. Too much. It wasn't fair to ask any more of her and besides, the person he was now deserved her even less than Mwu had. He'd purposely kept his distance from her in the days since the war had ended, not wanting her to see what he'd become. No, he'd work it out on his own. She'd be sleeping now anyway.

* * *

For a moment, she didn't know what to say. He stood there half-hidden in the shadows by the door tugging nervously at his jacket, and offered an awkward smile. Setting aside her book she beckoned to him, smiling herself when he moved to perch on the end of the bed. He looked tired, broad shoulders slumped, and rubbed at his eyes more than once as he sat in silence. Eventually however, he peeked over at her.

"M'I disturbing you?"

"Of course not."

Another small smile. "Figured you'd be sleeping. It's pretty late."

"Not that late." Past midnight, but she'd routinely stay up later than this with work. He knew that. "You look tired, though."

"Dreams." A pause, then; "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you...remember things you wish you didn't? The kid says you do."

"I think everyone does."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I didn't think it'd be like this."

And she thought she understood. The last two years had to have been hard on him. Though he'd never told her what had happened and maybe he never would, it was clear that the memories haunted him. _I guess the Alliance haven't invented a machine that can remove your conscience. _Perhaps he'd counted on his old life being happier, to somehow balance things out. Not knowing what to say to reassure him she settled for sitting beside him.

"Kind of wish I hadn't remembered."

"I'm glad that you did." When he glanced at her in surprise she smiled a little. "Probably it makes me selfish, but all I wanted was for you to remember _me_."

He was quiet for a long time after that, staring down at his feet. She did wonder whether she'd said the wrong thing, but didn't regret saying it. It did make her selfish, she knew...the Colonel had cared for her - maybe even loved her - without remembering, and if things had stayed the same they could probably still have had something together. _But I wanted Mwu. I wanted him to remember the times we spent together and the things we talked about. His memories aren't all bad._

"It hurt you that I didn't remember." He peeked up at her again.

"Because I never forgot. Not once."

"But what if I hadn't..."

Murrue smiled. "I'd have waited."

He took some time to think about that, then rubbed at his nose sheepishly. "Then I've been selfish too."

"How have you?"

"Because it was important to both of us that I remembered, but I only focused on myself."

"They _are_ your memories."

He shook his head, reaching to take her hand. "No. They're ours."

* * *

( I can't end a fic normally bleh. That last part was actually inspired by the music it played when Neo and Murrue were on the deck of _Archangel_ that time; 'Nakushita Kioku', which roughly translates as 'Our Lost Memories'. As though Mwu's memories belonged to them both.

It makes sense to me, anyway.

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	7. Chapter 7

Inspiration: http :/ i5 .photo bucket .com /albums / y151 /el_ saz /Tandem %20felix /24205631 _m. jpg

- MxM, during Seed.

* * *

She really didn't mean to be mad at him, but she couldn't help it. For the last week all she'd seen of him had been during a five-minute conversation in the hangar bay, and even then she'd only had half his attention. He'd made it look like he'd been listening, but she'd known better. Just a few nods and 'hmm' sounds in appropriate gaps in her sentences, he more focused on the BLT sandwich someone had brought him, and once he'd devoured the last bite he'd gone back to work on Strike with no more than a kiss to her cheek. She'd waited till she'd gotten back to her office before cussing him out and kicking things around.

He was busy of course but so was she, and she still found time to go see him. Even if all he did these days was work on that damned mobile suit. Yes, he wanted to get it right, yes, he wanted to make sure the next battle went better for him, but he didn't have to work on it 24/7. _He_ was the one who'd started this relationship (such as it was), _he_ was the one who'd reassured her that things would be okay, and up until Mendel it had been great.

_It's not his fault, _her conscience chided, _and you know it. What happened at Mendel changed things._

But that wasn't _her_ fault either. She'd stayed with him, had listened to his stories about Klueze and his childhood, had done her best to help him recover. This wasn't much of a thank you.

"What's he done?"

"What's who done?"

The older woman smiled, taking a sip of her coffee. "I've seen that look a few times. Even worn it myself once or twice."

She did her best to keep her expression neutral. "I'm just tired."

"No, you're mad at someone."

Murrue huffed. "_You_, for asking dumb questions."

"Tough work, dating a pilot." the Director continued with that same smile. "Especially a career one like him. Head always in the clouds."

For a moment she considered denying everything, but decided that silence was best. _Don't give her any more ammunition. _Instead she sat behind her desk and tried to focus on her work. The Director watched her for a moment, then picked up her cup to move closer. For once the desk was free of clutter, the quietness of the last month or so giving her chance to catch up on her paperwork, so all that was there was a couple of trays and her laptop. And..

"Where'd you find this?"

Seeing what the other woman held Murrue felt her face get hot, and quickly looked back down at her work. "Nowhere special."

"Hm." The Director examined the object, holding it up to the light. "You're lucky. These are quite rare."

"They are?"

"Mmm-hmm."

Reaching out she took it back, feeling the wave-smoothed texture. He'd found the seashell when they'd been walking on the beach near Morgenroete one evening. Half-buried in the sand right at the shoreline - how he'd spotted it she didn't know. He'd plucked it free and washed it in the surf before presenting it to her with a kiss. _A silly thing to keep, but.. _He'd looked so proud of himself, and the shell was beautiful, all mottled pink and white and polished to a sheen by sand and water.

"He found it for you, didn't he? He must have good eyes - it's not something just anyone could find."

Murrue smiled a little, gazing at the shell. It was special. Not because of it's rarity, but because he'd given it to her.

"Are you angry because he's not here?"

She put the shell down and looked away. The Director sighed.

"Can't help you if you don't let me."

"I don't need help. Nothing's wrong."

A pause, then; "Maybe that's why he isn't here."

Curious despite herself she looked back at the older woman. "What do you mean?"

"How is he going to know there's a problem if you don't tell him? Most men aren't all that perceptive."

She poked at the stack of papers. Simple solution. But was it so simple?

"He can't do all the work here," the Director said kindly. "That's how it's been so far though, isn't it?"

More true than she wanted to admit. He'd been the one to start things off - though she'd had feelings for him for a while before that she'd never have let him see - and he'd been the one to turn that kiss into a relationship. She'd let him take the lead. And why? Because she was scared. Scared of letting him know how she felt in case he was taken away from her like the one before. It wasn't fair on him. Probably it would be better if she called things off, but she couldn't. She cared far too much about him.

"What should I do?"

"Let him know."

She managed a smile. "And if he still doesn't listen?"

A wicked grin. "You could try seducing him."

* * *

It had been a long day. Worn out, he trudged the last few steps from the elevator to his door - then stopped, blinking fuzzily at the one waiting for him. "Murrue?"

She smiled shyly, pink tinting her cheeks. "Want some company?"

"Sure." He _was_ tired, but that didn't matter. He'd missed her. _My own fault. _Unlocking the door he gestured for her to go in first...and barely had time to close the door behind them before she took hold of his collar and pulled him close for a kiss. Off-balance at first he stood there dumbly, eyes wide, for a whole two seconds before winding arms around her and kissing her back. She murmured something happy sounding, one small hand reaching to curl in the hair at the nape of his neck. Not what he'd expected, but definitely welcome.

"M'sorry," she said quietly when they broke.

"For what? The kiss? That was.."

"Not that." Moving closer she laid her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry for not doing this more often."

Mwu chuckled, threading fingers in her hair. "You don't have to apologise for that."

"I do, though. I only let you get close when I felt like it." She crinkled her nose. "That's not much of a relationship."

"What brought this on?"

Silence for a moment, then; "Because I was mad at you."

"Why?"

"Doesn't matter now."

"Of course it matters." When she still wouldn't tell him he led her over to sit on the end of his bed, tugging her into his lap. "Talk to me."

What he could see of her face behind a curtain of hair was bright red with embarrassment. Reaching up he brushed some of the hair away, letting fingertips linger on her cheek. Murrue did smile a little at that, leaning into his touch.

"You weren't here."

"Wasn't...oh."

She was absolutely right. He _hadn't_ been here. He'd spent days on end in the hangar bay, sometimes even sleeping and eating there - working on Strike had occupied his thoughts to the point where almost everything else had been excluded. Almost. _I told myself it was for her. So I could protect her better. She'd understand, right?_

"I was mad because you weren't around," she murmured, gaze fixed on her lap. "But maybe that was my fault." A peek up at him, a small smile at his confused look. "Because I pushed you away all the time. Made out that work was more important. I never let you know how I was feeling, so how did you know I felt anything at all?"

"I knew." Winding arms around her he hugged her tightly, feeling like a jerk. He'd known she'd lost someone she loved, most likely a pilot like himself, and he'd done his best to show her that it was okay to let someone else in. And once she had, he'd... "I'm sorry."

"Why are _you_ sorry?"

"I knew how you felt." He'd seen it after Mendel - the tenderness to her voice, the affection in her eyes. She'd listened to the stories about his childhood and not judged him at all. That acceptance of everything he was had made him love her. And that had scared the hell out of him. "This isn't your fault. It's mine. I saw how you felt, how _I_ felt, and I ran from it."

"You.."

He rested his head on her shoulder, closing his eyes as gentle fingers played with his hair. "I guess I was hiding too." Working on Strike had been a good excuse to avoid her, to maybe put emotional distance between them. He'd told himself that she'd understand. _She's captain, after all - she has her own work to do. _

But she hadn't understood. Instead she'd thought she'd done something wrong. That it was _her_ fault he was avoiding her. He'd hurt her, and hurt himself. "Thought I'd feel less if I didn't see you. Didn't work."

"It never does."

_She tried that too. _The thought made him smile - they were more alike inside than he'd thought. Her reasons for avoidance had been the same as his. _Both scared to love someone in case it all gets taken away. _But the more he'd tried to hide from his feelings the stronger they'd gotten, and he felt sure it was the same for her. _There's nowhere to run anymore. _Looking back up at her he saw that affection again, the understanding, and brought her close for a kiss.

* * *

( INTROSPECTIVE FLUFF XD

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	8. Chapter 8

Inspiration - i5 .photo bucket albums / y151 /el_ saz / Tandem %20 felix /372 _1. jpg (remove the spaces first)

MxM, during Seed.

* * *

He couldn't see what he was doing.

They'd said that, hadn't they? That with the shot going straight through he wouldn't be able to treat the wound properly? He hadn't really been listening, just nodded in what he'd thought were the right places and accepted the box of dressings and bandages they'd given him. He'd just wanted to get out of sickbay as soon as he could, away from the sterile whiteness, the smells of antiseptic and disinfectant, and worst of all, the lack of distractions. Back there he'd had too much time to think about things he'd rather forget - things he'd spent the last twenty years trying to forget. The pain of that was almost as bad as the wounds. Gritting his teeth he wet a cotton wool ball with the antiseptic they'd given him, trying to reach behind him to clean the exit wound, but the movement aggravated the injury to his left side and he winced.

"Dammit.."

Maybe he should go see if they'd sort it out for him. It was late (really late) but there was always a nurse on duty. They didn't really like him because of all the grumbling he'd done, but they'd fix him up if he asked nicely. Hopefully.

He was about to call it quits and reach for his jacket when a soft tap at the door surprised him. He knew who it would be, of course, but the visit was a late one even for her. Since the war had gone quiet for the time being there was comparitively very little paperwork, just routine maintenance reports and duty rosters, and given her efficiency she'd probably finished those hours ago. She should be asleep. Pressing the control to open the door he shook his head scoldingly at her.

"You know what time it is?"

She gave him an apologetic smile, fiddling with the hem of her nightdress. "Couldn't sleep."

"C'mon then." He tugged out the desk chair for her to sit on, smiling himself as she perched on the edge of it. "I was just about to head over to sickbay, but you can wait here if you like."

A slight frown. "I thought they discharged you?"

"They did, but I can't reach behind me to sort this out." Mwu gestured to his back. "Not without making things worse."

"Then I'll do it."

He blinked. "But.."

She smiled warmly, affectionately. "It's no trouble. Better than going back to sickbay. Here;" She took the antiseptic and cotton wool from him and climbed up to sit on the bed. When he stayed quiet she shuffled to face him. "If that's all right."

"You really don't mind?"

"Of course not." She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "If you needed help, you should have asked me."

"I didn't want to bother anyone." Especially not her - he'd leaned on her enough.

Murrue laughed. It was a sound he'd come to treasure, something he didn't hear often enough, so although she was laughing at _him_ he didn't mind. Instead he grinned rather sheepishly. "Well, I didn't. Thought I could fix it."

"You can't do everything by yourself. How many times did you tell _me_ that?"

"And you still don't listen."

She made a face. "I'm trying, okay?" Moving around she sat behind him. "If I can learn, then so can you." The slosh of liquid, the scent of antiseptic. It was cold on his skin, and despite how careful she was it still stung and he bit his lip.

"Sorry." She traced muscles with a fingertip. "That hurt, didn't it? You tensed up."

"Can't avoid that. And you're a lot gentler than those nurses."

"Thank you." The bed shifted as she moved a little closer, and as she worked she kept talking, perhaps to distract from the pain. It wasn't about anything much, just snippets of gossip she'd heard from _Eternal_ and _Kusanagi_ but he listened nonetheless, comforted by her voice. She used a different tone with him these days - not formal or even friendly, but soft and affectionate. Not something he was used to hearing from anyone, and he'd been surprised by how it had made him feel - and how much he liked it.

"The Director wants you to work for her?"

"Mmm-hmm. I told her about being an engineer, and she offered me a job at Morgenroete. Once they rebuild it."

"Did you accept?"

"Not yet."

Mwu frowned. "But you will, right? It sounds perfect." Fixing and building ships and stuff - the job she'd been meant to do. She'd tell him stories about it sometimes, about how she and her team had helped put _Archangel_ and her mobile suits together, and he'd heard the pride in her voice. _A job like that would be a reward for her. _"You have to."

She stayed quiet for a little while, continuing her work, then he felt a kiss to the back of his neck. "All right then. I'll tell her tomorrow."

It was something she didn't normally let herself think about. What might happen when (if?) the war ever ended? Would they all still be around to see it, or would they just be a statistic? Sunk with the loss of all hands. She hated to think like that, but she'd seen it happen far too often. Friends, colleagues, and.. Closing her eyes she leaned against him, winding arms around his middle (though being careful to avoid the other wound).

"Murrue?"

She liked that, him using her first name. He hadn't asked permission, but somehow it meant more that he hadn't. _As though it were completely normal. As though _we_ were normal. _"It's nothing." Resting her cheek against his back she breathed in the scent of him, smiling at the tightness in her chest. She'd tried to avoid thinking about how he made her feel, until Mendel had changed things. Seeing him in pain like that had hurt her too and for a time, being captain had taken a back seat to caring for him. "I'm glad you're all right."

Soft laughter, and he reached up to take one of her hands in his. "As all right as I can be."

"You'll be just fine in a couple of weeks." With a kiss to his cheek she finished her work, motioning for him to lift his arm while she wound a length of clean bandage around his chest. The injuries were healing well, she thought - both inside and out. "There we go."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

He peeked back at her with a small smile. "Being like this. Tried so hard to be someone you could lean on, and here I am leaning on _you._"

"You don't need to apologise for that." Tugging back the covers she helped him lie against the pillows. "Everyone needs help sometimes." She didn't mean just for the bandaging and he knew it, but neither said anything more. They didn't need to. "Will you be all right now?"

Mwu smiled. "I will be, yeah. Thank you."

"Good." Ducking down to steal a kiss she made as though to climb from the bed but he caught her hand.

"You don't have to go."

"I.." Murrue pinked, rubbing at her nose. "Someone might look for me. Besides, I don't want to hurt you."

"You wouldn't." He reached up to brush fingertips over her cheek and she closed her eyes, leaning into the touch. "You make me feel better."

She couldn't deny that she was tempted. While not able to sleep before she _was_ tired now - it was well after midnight - and she didn't really want to go back to her empty room and cold bed. It wasn't very professional, of course, but... She sighed, and he chuckled, tugging on her hand to pull her closer. "C'mon."

"I didn't say 'yes'.."

"You did." He lifted the covers for her to slip underneath, winding an arm around her waist before flicking off the light. And despite her own better judgment she settled close, not able to stifle a yawn. He laughed quietly, reaching up with his good hand to thread fingers in her hair. "Isn't this better?"

She closed her eyes with a smile. It really was. "Mwu?"

"Hmm?"

"You think Orb would be a nice place to live?"

He was quiet for a moment, and she thought he'd fallen asleep. Then; "Yeah, I do."

"We could go there together."

"We could. Would you like that?"

She nodded drowsily. Working at Morgenroete would be fun, but not half so much fun as seeing where life might take the two of them. Sometimes it was nice to think about the future.

* * *

( rambly end is rambly.

please read and review! )


	9. Chapter 9

Inspiration: i5 .photo bucket albums / y151 / el_ saz/ Tandem %20 felix /16 .jpg

MXM, AU after Seed

* * *

"Murrue!"

Halfway through brushing her hair she sighed, peeking up to catch a glimpse of her own rueful expression in the mirror. "What is it?"

"How do I put this on again?"

"I thought Kira-kun showed you?"

Silence.

"Were you even paying attention?"

"Well.."

"That would be a 'no', wouldn't it?" Shaking her head she set down her brush and made her way back to the bedroom. He was there, sitting on the end of the bed with a bundle of dark purple fabric on his lap, and had the grace to look sheepish at her frown.

"I never wore one of these before.."

"Neither have I, and I've managed to put it on alright."

He pouted just a little bit. "You don't have to be so mean."

She sighed again but did smile, leaning over to kiss the top of his head. "Am I really that mean to you?"

"Sometimes. But I can live with it."

"Glad to hear it. Now;" she took the fabric from him and shook it out to look at it better, "let's see what we can do with this."

"Do I really have to wear it?"

"Everyone else will be. You don't want to be the odd one out, do you?"

He crinkled his nose in an endearing sort of way. "I'd rather be the odd one out with pants on."

Murrue tried to hide her smile but wasn't quite able to. "I'm sure no-one will notice if you want to wear shorts underneath. In fact, I bet some of the others will be."

"It still won't suit me. Not like yours does." He rubbed the red material between his fingers. "You look amazing."

She glanced away, feeling her face get hot. "Thank you."

A chuckle, and he wound arms around her to bring her close. "Will you always blush, do you think?"

"I'm sure you'd like it if I did."

"It is cute," he admitted, "but I still hope that one day you'll be used to me saying things like that. It isn't as if you don't know I mean them."

"I know you mean them. That's why I don't want to be used to it."

Mwu blinked, evidently confused. "Does that make sense?"

"To me, it does. Now come on;" Motioning to him to stand up she handed him the first item of clothing. "Put it on as though you were putting on a regular robe, is what Erica told me. Nothing more complicated than that."

With a rather heavy sigh he did as he was told, grumbling under his breath until a sharp look from her made him quiet. Though he'd deny any suggestion of vanity, like most pilots she'd known he _was_ pretty image-conscious. _He's never worn anything like this before, and he's worried it'll make him look silly. _He hadn't said as much, of course, but he hadn't needed to. Making sure the robe was put on the right way she took the sash and tied it around his waist, fastening it at the back the way Erica had shown her. "Is that too tight?"

"No, that's fine." He poked at the outfit. "I was right, though."

"Stop it," she scolded gently, moving around to look at him properly. The robe - Kira-kun had called them yukata - had been borrowed from Erica's husband but fitted him quite well, and far from looking ridiculous.. "You look very handsome."

To her amusement he actually pinked ever so slightly, rubbing the back of his neck with a hand the way he always did when he felt awkward. "You really think so?"

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't."

"Not even to make me feel better?"

Moving closer Murrue kissed his cheek. "Have I ever lied to you?"

He smiled at that.

* * *

_I guess this isn't so bad._

The kid and his friends had met them at the gate of the temple place up on the hill, and they'd all gone in together but over time the kids had drifted away to do their own thing, leaving him alone with Murrue. Which suited him (and, he thought, her) just fine. After wandering hand-in-hand through the crowded festival looking at each stall in turn they'd ended up beside a small pond lit by fairy lights. It was quiet, peaceful, and kind of romantic.

"No-one was looking at me."

Soft laughter, and she squeezed his hand. "Of course they weren't. Did you think we'd be the only one wearing these?"

"I guess not.." It hadn't been just the robe thing, though. Back home he'd been used to being stared at and talked about, the fame he'd gotten as a pilot preceding him. But here...nothing. Just a regular guy. And to his surprise, he'd enjoyed it. Tipping his head back he looked up at the sky, smiling a little at the faint twinkle of stars visible between the tree branches. Beside him Murrue followed his gaze, then leaned into him.

"You miss it?"

"A bit. But it's okay."

"I wouldn't stop you if you wanted to go back, you know."

"No, I know." The little miss had invited him to join Orb's military, and Murrue had encouraged him to think about it. But the more he _had_ thought, the less he'd been interested in the idea. _Spent half my life being a soldier. I don't know what it's like to be a civilian. But I bet she could teach me. _Still holding her hand he tugged on it to bring her close, winding his other arm around her waist. "But I've got something better right here."

As he'd expected she blushed again, then narrowed her eyes when he laughed. "What? I was being serious."

"You spoiled the moment." she grumbled, poking him in the chest.

"I did, didn't I? But you went all red again." Leaning closer Mwu nuzzled kisses to her cheek. "Do I have to say things like that more often to get you used to it?"

"I told you, I don't want to be used to it." Winding arms around his neck she regarded him with a smile. "Tell me, when I said before we came here that you looked handsome, how did it make you feel?"

He thought about that. "Happy. Sort of fuzzy inside."

"You've been told it before?"

"Once or twice."

"Did it make you feel the same way then?"

That caused a bit more thought, and a frown. "No, it didn't. I guess I felt happy this time 'cause you were the one that said it."

"That's what I mean." Murrue kissed the tip of his nose. "Whenever you tell me something like that, it makes me feel the same way. I like how it feels, so I hope I never get so used to the things you say that I_ stop _feeling it. Does it make sense now?"

And thinking about it, it did. _Compliments are nice, but they mean more when someone you love gives you them. _"Still have a lot to learn, don't I?"

Another kiss. "There's plenty of time."

"I hope I can always make you blush."

She laughed. "I'm sure that you will."

* * *

( I has a rusty. But it's not too bad.

please read and review! )


	10. Chapter 10

Inspiration: i5. photo bucket albums / y151 / el_saz /Tandem % 20felix / 496 .jpg

MxM, during Seed

* * *

He must have searched the whole ship before he'd finally found her. After they'd picked up the kid and his new mobile suit (where he'd found a thing like that was anyone's guess) she'd given the order to head for Orb before leaving the bridge. And that had been the last anyone had seen of her. The crew hadn't questioned her orders or her disappearance, going about their duties in subdued silence as they had ever since the ship had left Alaska but he'd been worried. It wasn't like her. So although he really should have stayed on the bridge to keep an eye on things, he'd gone to find her.

She was at the observation window watching the last of the icebergs drift past, slender frame lit only by reflected moonlight, and as he watched she reached out to trace a pattern on the cold glass. She looked small, and lost, and as fragile as he'd ever seen her and he almost said something but in the next instant she glanced up and noticed him, and the moment was gone.

"Commander? Is everything all right?" She tried to put that edge in her voice, to use the same tone as she did on the bridge but it wasn't very convincing, and given the way the corners of her mouth quirked in a tiny smile, she knew it.

"As alright as it can be."

"Things will be better once we get to Orb." She lifted her chin determinedly but he'd been able to hear the _I hope_ that she'd left unsaid. "We can get refuelled and repaired, and then.."

"And then?"

"And then.. I'll figure something out."

"You don't have to.."

"I do though, don't I?" Another smile, this one a little rueful. "This was my decision."

Mwu shook his head. "I told you, don't try shouldering all that by yourself. It's too much."

"There isn't anyone else."

"Sure there is. There's me." At her frown he gave a smile of his own. "I was the one who told you about Cyclops. That was what made you decide to leave. All this is as much my responsibility as it is yours. No, it is," he chided when she opened her mouth to protest, "and you know it. Let me help."

"You'd do that?"

"I always have, haven't I?"

It was a bit too much. Since leaving the bridge she'd been alone with her own thoughts and worries, the weight of her promise to Admiral Halberton and the decision to run like a physical pain in her chest. For almost the first time in her life she'd had no idea what to do next. Would Orb take them? And if not, where could they go? Would they even make it?

Then, like always, he'd been there with advice and a shoulder to lean on, an offer to help when she'd needed it most, and the reassurance it - he - provided was so great it brought a lump to her throat. Taking a deep breath Murrue peeked up at him with an attempt at a smile.

"Thank you." _For this, and for coming back._

He smiled back, the expression as gentle as she'd ever seen from him. No words, but that look was enough, as was the way he fished a (rather grubby) cloth from his pocket and dabbed away tears she hadn't even noticed were falling.

And then he hugged her.

The embrace was so unexpected and sudden she stood there frozen for a full ten seconds before returning it rather hesitantly. He chuckled softly, the laughter felt rather than heard, and brushed a hand over her hair.

"It's okay now," he offered quietly. "No need to worry."

_No need to worry. _Not true, she knew, yet somehow he made her believe it. He was there, right beside her like always, and he understood. And curling a hand in his jacket she let herself cry. Tears of sadness, of anger, of relief and gratitude and through them all he held her close, murmuring comforting words. She could cry, he said, and it'd be all right. And she knew that it would be. Not just because they were headed to safety, but because he was there with her.

She wasn't alone.

* * *

(hurray for weirdness xD

please read and review! )


	11. Chapter 11

Inspiration: i5 .photo bucket albums /y151 /el _saz /Tandem %20 felix /sleep .jpg

MxM, during Seed

* * *

He was dozing.

He hadn't meant to fall asleep - he'd tried signing off some of her paperwork in an effort to keep himself occupied until she could join him - but it _was_ pretty late, and he'd had a long day. So, head pillowed on his arms, he slipped in and out of dreams. Not the nightmares of a half-forgotten childhood that had plagued him since Mendel, but instead dreams of her. Of the time they'd managed to take a walk on the beach back in Orb, of her shy smile and the pink her face had gone when he'd taken her hand. The sun had just been setting, he remembered, turning the sky a dozen different colours, and it had all been so beautiful he hadn't been able to do anything but stare.

_I'm going to come back here,_ he'd decided then. _When it's all over I'm going to come see this again, and I'll make sure she's here to see it with me. _

_I forgot all about that._ In the upheaval of the last few weeks nothing much had mattered save for Strike being repaired and his injuries healing, but now things had quietened down he could afford to think about it again. It sounded so simple, yet it would take everything he had to achieve it. _But I will. _Feeling fingertips brush over the back of his neck he smiled, opening one eye to peek up at the one beside him. _For both of us._

"You should have gone to bed if you were tired.."

"I promised I'd wait up."

A rueful smile. "It's really late, though."

"Doesn't matter." Heaving himself out of the chair he stretched out until his joints popped - then pulled her to him in a tight hug. "You're here now. Been looking forward to this all day."

Murrue blinked up at him for a moment then smiled herself, reaching to run a hand through his hair. "So have I." She kissed him, murmuring contentedly when he returned it. "And to that."

"You don't have to wait so long, you know. I could.."

"Yes, you could," she said with a poke to his nose. "And I'd put money on someone seeing us and it being all over the ship in an hour."

He made a show of grumbling, nuzzling kisses to her neck. "Everyone already knows.."

"That doesn't mean we need to give them more to talk about."

"Can't hide it forever."

A little sigh, either due to his words or his attention. "I know, but I'd rather not have everyone watching us all the time."

Mwu smiled against her skin. "What about when we get home?"

Silence for a moment, then she kissed the top of his head. "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

"You haven't thought about it? Not even a little bit?"

Another sigh, and he peeked up at her with a smile. "I just.." She made an attempt at a smile of her own, brushing a hand over his cheek. "We're here right now, and that's enough for me." Catching his lips in a kiss she let him go, turning away to unzip her uniform jacket. "We'd better get some sleep."

* * *

He'd made her uncomfortable. She hadn't mentioned it, and he knew she'd deny it if asked, but he knew anyway. Moving to lie on his side he wound an arm around her waist, breathing in the floral scent that always followed her. "I'm sorry."

She didn't answer right away, and he wondered if she was asleep. Then he felt a small hand cover his own and squeeze gently. "I know. It's all right." They lay quietly for a time, then suddenly she spoke again. "I haven't looked at them in a long time."

"Looked at what?"

"The stars." He'd left the blinds open halfway, the faint natural light preferable to the artificial, and he liked the way it turned everything to silver. But looking at them..

"Neither have I."

"I used to watch them all the time when I was little. It was what made me want to go into space - I wanted to see them up close."

"And what did you think?"

"That I like them better from Earth. That twinkle makes them seem friendlier." She looked over her shoulder at him, her smile fond. "That's my dream. To see them like that again. Funny, isn't it?"

"Course not." Not able to help his curiosity he hugged her a little tighter. "Am I in this dream?"

Another squeeze to his hand. "You know you are."

_She wants the same thing. _For the two of them to be able to see the sky again, for them to know that they had peace. Nothing more complicated than that. Well, not for her. Tucking his head into the crook of her neck he closed his eyes with a smile. He had plans that involved much more than sunsets and stars, and on the day the war finally ended, he'd tell her all about them.

* * *

(Nothing much in this, just a piece of candyfloss for our hero's birthday :D I know I'm a day early, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

please read and review! )


	12. Chapter 12

Inspiration: i5 .photo bucket albums /y151 /el_ saz /Tandem %20 felix /reunion .jpg

MxM, AU after Seed

* * *

"Great job out there, Commander!"

He nodded and smiled, kicking off from Strike to float toward the deck. There weren't many people about, just a handful of technicians working to lock down Buster and, confusingly, one of the others. (Duel, had Kira called it?) And Murdoch, but he was always here. No-one else, especially not the one he'd hoped to see. _I guess I shouldn't be surprised. There'll be a lot of stuff to sort out up there now everything's over. She probably wasn't able to get away._

"She's in the locker room."

"Eh?"

Murdoch grinned, gesturing back over his shoulder with a thumb. "She didn't want to wait out here - said she didn't want everyone watching."

He had to smile. "Even though she was fine before."

The older man shrugged. "I didn't argue."

"Probably best that you didn't." Tugging off his helmet and gloves he ran a hand through thick blonde hair before looking up at his suit. "Will it be okay if I leave it?"

"I'll get it locked down and fixed up, don't worry. Go find her."

"Thanks." Helmet under his arm he made his way across the hangar to the little room. It didn't really surprise him that she hadn't wanted to wait out here for him - with the place practically empty everyone would have noticed her - and he was pretty glad that she hadn't, really. _So it's just between us._

She was sitting there on the central bench, hands folded in her lap. And for a moment he just stood and watched her, smiling fondly. It had all been for her. What he'd done out there, what he'd done with Strike - it had all been to keep her safe. He'd wanted to come through it all right, to come back to her, but if it would have cost him his life to protect her he'd have given it without a thought. And he almost had.

"I should be mad at you."

The soft words made his grin wider. "But you're not, right?"

She looked up at him with a little smile of her own. "After you'd done it, I was. I told myself that if you made it back okay I'd slap you for scaring me so much."

"I'm sorry."

"No, you're not. You're glad you did it."

"Well, yeah.." She'd always been able to see right through him. "You can slap me if you want to."

Murrue shook her head, getting up to move closer to him. "It doesn't matter now. Because you're here." Kicking off from the deck she threw her arms around him. He'd been hoping for this and caught her easily, holding her as tightly as he could. She did cry just a little, thin shoulders shaking and he tangled a hand in her hair, talking quietly to her.

"Feet on the ground now."

She laughed. "Not possible."

"If you asked me to, I would."

She pulled away slightly to smile up at him. "But I wouldn't ask you. Flying is what you do - you'd never be happy if you gave it up."

"I would if I had you."

Her smile became one of real affection, she brushing fingertips over his cheek. "Who says you can't have both?"

"Does that mean you'll marry me, then?"

She blinked up at him. "What?"

"Nothing. It's okay." Silently cursing his stupidity Mwu shook his head with a smile. He'd wanted to ask her, had repeatedly worked up the courage to ask her, only to say something completely different each time he'd tried. And eventually he'd given up. It was dumb, anyway. No way was he right for her. He loved her, more than he'd ever been able to love anyone before, and knew she loved him back but still.. _It'll wear off once we get home and she finds out how much I suck at regular life.._"Forget I said anything."

"Ask me again."

"What?"

She smiled, reaching up to rub away tears. "I said, ask me again."

He actually blushed just a little bit, rubbing the back of his neck the way he always did when he was embarrassed. "I...it doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters." She took one of his hands between hers and squeezed gently. "It matters a lot. Please."

He stared at her for a moment, then shook his head with a soft smile. "You have no idea if it'll even work out. Three months isn't anything."

"But it's a good base to build on." When he still hesitated she moved close to kiss him lightly. "Why be so nervous? Is it because you thought I'd say 'no'?"

He didn't answer that, instead staring at his feet and Murrue hugged him tight. "Big idiot."

Muffled laughter. "Is that a 'yes', then?"

"That's definitely a 'yes'."

Silence, then he let go a huge sigh, returning the embrace so fervently that it almost squeezed the breath from her but she just smiled and closed her eyes. He really _had _thought that she'd turn him down. She'd worked so hard the last couple of months to get him to stop doubting himself, but it seemed that her task wasn't finished yet. _But that's okay. We have all the time in the world._

She was looking forward to it.

* * *

( A bit meh, but I quite like how it's turned out.

please read and review! )


	13. Chapter 13

Inspiration: i5 .photo bucket albums /y151 /e l_saz /Tandem %20 felix /734 .jpg

MxM, during Seed

* * *

"Wait for me!" The voice was filled with breathless laughter, the sound of running feet audible even over the rush of waves on sand. A little exasperated, yet unable to keep from smiling she did as requested, glancing back to see him racing over the beach. His face was ruddy with exertion, top half of the borrowed orange jumpsuit streaming behind him as he ran, but he grinned brightly as he finally managed to catch up to her.

"I didn't know you were going for a walk..." he grumbled once he'd gotten his breath back. "You never said anything."

"I had a bit of spare time." She'd actually planned to take a walk by herself, but there was no point telling him that now. "I thought you were busy working on Strike?"

He rubbed at his nose, looking rather bashful. "I was, but the Director lady collared me and said that ladies don't like to play second fiddle to a mobile suit. Not that I didn't know that, but.."

She fought the urge to palm her face. Perhaps the older woman knew, perhaps she'd only guessed, but it was irritating nonetheless.

"I didn't tell her."

"No, I know you didn't."

"Maybe the other guys did. I threatened them with toilet duty if they said anything, but.." He shrugged.

"It doesn't matter." Gossip was a part of life no matter where you went, and any attempt by them to rein it in would only create more.

"M'sorry."

She smiled and shook her head. "Really. It's alright."

A lopsided grin. "I started it, though."

"But I didn't stop you."

"True." He reached out and took her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. "We walking, then?"

"Like this?"

He chuckled. "Sure. Why not?"

And, despite her misgivings, it was nice. The beach was almost deserted save for them, the sky just beginning to change towards dusk. She didn't talk much, preferring to focus on the sounds of the waves and the seabirds, and on how warm his hand was. And she liked to listen to him.

"Here," he said suddenly, kicking off his boots. "Let's paddle."

"Let's what?"

"Paddle," he repeated cheerfully, hopping on one foot while he removed his socks and rolled his trouser legs up. "It'll be fun."

She shook her head. "How old are you?"

"Doesn't matter. C'mon."

Somewhat reluctantly she did as he asked, letting him lead her down to the water's edge. She half expected him to charge into the water or pull her in, but he did neither. Instead he stood on the sand and let the waves rush over his feet, laughing as the sand was washed away underneath. Something a child might do, yet it was so like him that she found herself smiling.

"You all right with this?"

She nodded. "I'm all right with this." And she really was. He fairly beamed at that and moved a little closer, reaching up to brush calloused fingers against her cheek. She closed her eyes at the gentle touch, heartbeat picking up. Only a few days, yet he was still able to make her feel this way.

"Can I kiss you?"

She opened one eye. "You weren't going to?"

"Well.." He grinned. "Yeah." Winding his other arm around her waist he brought her close, and when he did kiss her she accepted without hesitation, smiling at the tingles that ran right to the ends of her fingers and toes.

* * *

( This was written quite a while ago as part of a longer multi-chapter story I never got round to finishing, but I always liked this passage.

please read and review! )


	14. Chapter 14

Inspiration: i5. photo bucket album s/y1 51/e l_saz/Tandem %20f elix/m urruein red2.j pg (remove the spaces please or if it gets cut down PM me for the linkie)

MxM, AU after Seed

* * *

It was too hot.

Funny, that. He'd kept an image of the country in his mind ever since he'd left the last time, being easily able to recall places and people in lonely moments, but somewhere along the way he'd forgotten all about the heat. It had knocked him sideways the minute he'd stepped ashore. _Too used to air-conditioning,_ he'd told himself. _You have to give yourself time to adjust. _He hadn't been able to the last time, but he _had_ only stayed here a month. This time he planned on staying much longer.

_Now, which way? _He'd chosen Onogoro as the best place to start looking, but although it was smaller than the main island it was still bigger than he'd thought. He could ask for directions, but where to? The only place he remembered here was the factory complex, and that had been destroyed when they'd left for space. And it hadn't been the only one - he could see cranes and scaffolding everywhere, hear the sounds of construction. Both the Director lady and the missie had shaken their heads when apologised to, saying that the Alliance would always have attacked and that their presence had probably saved hundreds more lives, but it hadn't made him feel any better. _I know we didn't cause them to come here, but it's hard to not feel responsible in some way._

He'd help make up for it though. Somehow. Once he was well enough. Sitting down rather heavily on a bench overlooking the sea he poked at his legs, feeling the bandaging under the (by now rather tatty) overalls. Burns, they'd said, and shrapnel injuries. More quantity than quality, and with time and care he'd recover. No need to worry. But he had. Not about himself - though the wounds were painful they were bearable - but about everyone else. He'd done his best to protect them but if he'd survived...maybe it hadn't been enough?

_Stop that. _He shook his head. _You have to believe that they made it. That they're all here waiting for you. That's why you left hospital, and why you travelled all this way. _He'd find them. Find her. He'd check Morgenroete first - if they were rebuilding everything else, maybe they'd started there too. Someone there might know what had happened.

* * *

It was a nice day. Sticking her pen behind her ear she shaded her eyes with a hand to check progress. From the rubble-strewn wasteland of a few months ago it had come on well. They'd cleared the ground, rebuilt the foundations, and now a tangle of girders stretched up to the sky. It'd be as good as new. Better, in fact. Cagalli-sama had promised them as much funding and support as they needed, almost all her old workforce had returned and pitched in to help, and with her new staff had come new ideas and suggestions. Everything was going great. Smiling and nodding to herself she tapped her clipboard before turning back to head to the site office. Five more minutes, and she'd give the call to break for lunch.

"You've been staring at that for an hour."

To her credit her friend did no more than raise an eyebrow whilst still focused on the papers in front of her. Though it would be over eighteen months until the factory was complete enough for them to restart development she'd begun designing, sketching out ideas for ships and mobile suits until the little desk had been smothered in paper. Shaking her head Erica fished in the sink for her mug before setting the tiny kettle going for tea. "You brought lunch?"

"Sandwich."

"Figures. I'm going out to the carts - I'll bring you something."

The younger woman crinkled her nose, finally looking up from her desk. "What kind of something?"

"I was thinking oden."

She shook her head with a rueful smile. "Determined to get me used to weird food, aren't you? What's wrong with a burger, or a club sandwich?"

"Boring." Erica answered easily after a sip of her tea. "That was pretty much all they served on _Kusanagi_ and I got sick of it. Besides, the 'weird food' is actually better for you."

"If you say so." She didn't argue further though, just leaned back in her chair and stretched out until the joints popped. And the older woman watched with a smile. _She really does look a lot better. _It had been a hard six months for Murrue. Jachin Due and the loss of her pilot had taken a real toll on her, leaving her quiet and withdrawn. Her friends had done what they could for her, and Erica herself had taken her in for a little while. _No-one should be alone with sadness like that. _She'd been there for her, listened to her stories and comforted her after nightmares, and to her delight and no small amount of pride the younger woman had begun to recover. _It wasn't just down to us, though. She's the toughest person I've ever met._

"You going to come with me?" At Murrue's doubtful look she shook her head. "Those papers will still be there when we get back. Food tastes nicer when it's eaten outside." When her friend still hesitated she rolled her eyes and reached out to take her hand, tugging her up from the chair. "Come on."

Despite her grumbles the fresh air _was_ nice, a light breeze blowing off the sea and taking the edge off the sun's heat. Erica-san shot her a sideways look as they walked, smile one of pride.

"You see? Much better."

"It was a nice sandwich."

"It's still there, isn't it? You could have it this afternoon as a snack."

"I still have a lot of work to do."

Erica-san sighed. "But you _don't_, Murrue. You have a job here, yes, but that job won't start - _can't_ start - until the factory's rebuilt. You know that. You could stay home and do what you're doing."

"I'd...rather not be there all day by myself."

Her friend's expression became sympathetic. "You still see him?"

"Less than I did, but.."

"Have you talked to anyone else about it?"

Murrue managed a smile. "And have people think I'm crazy?"

"It's not crazy." Erica-san steered her over to a bench overlooking the promenade and sat beside her. "And who says it's all in here?" She tapped her forehead. "He might.."

"Be a ghost?" She aimed a withering look at the older woman, but Erica-san just shrugged.

"Stranger things have happened."

"Not to me, they haven't." It was silly, anyway. She shouldn't even have told Erica-san about it. She still dreamed of him, and sometimes those dreams bled over into waking hours. That was all. Wishful thinking. "It doesn't matter, anyway. It'll stop in time."

"Do you _want_ it to stop?"

"Whether I want it to or not, it will." Shaking her head she stretched out with a smile. "Come on, we'd better get something to eat before lunch break's over."

* * *

It was late when she finally got back home. Ignoring Erica-san's protests she'd stayed at the desk until after her friend had left, going back over her designs to try and improve them. They might not be needed just yet but they would be one day, and since she couldn't really help with the rebuilding of the factory itself she had to help in _some_ way, right? Flicking on the kitchen light she searched in the fridge for a bottle of beer, intending to sit outside and enjoy the evening for a while.

"You're home late." His voice held a note of concern, one she'd heard often when he'd thought she'd been working too hard. Squeezing her eyes closed for a moment she pulled out the bottle and shut the fridge door, not wanting to turn around. Maybe she _wouldn't_ sit outside tonight.

A sigh and a rustle of material. Hands in his pockets. Something else she'd heard too often. "You're not going to say anything?"

Murrue almost smiled at that. _Yes, because I really need to be chatting with a figment of my imagination. Might as well check into the padded room after that. _Fingers still wrapped around the bottle she studied the way the bubbles rose, the condensation on cold glass. Maybe if she focused on that he'd go away.

Another sigh, this one almost a laugh. "She said that waiting for you here would be a bad idea. I guess I should have listened, but I wanted to see you too badly."

She frowned. "Who said that?" she asked finally.

"The Director lady. She wanted me to stay at her place until tomorrow so she could be there with me."

"Why?"

"She said...that you wouldn't believe that I was real. I guess she was right." His voice was quieter now, sadder, and despite herself Murrue turned around, bottle still held in her hands like it could protect her somehow.

And she stared.

The Mwu of her imagination was always exactly as she remembered - crumpled Alliance uniform, hair unbrushed, smile affectionate but teasing. The way he'd been the morning she'd last seen him. But this... This man was completely different. Her confusion must have shown in her expression because he shot her a half-hearted grin, picking at the tattered grey overalls he wore.

"She wanted to lend me something of her husband's. To get me cleaned up a bit. But I didn't want to wait." He rubbed at the back of his neck the way he always had when he'd been embarrassed. "I look a bit of a mess, don't I?"

"You.." His hair was longer, almost to his shoulders and waved slightly at the ends. But what had caught her attention the most was the scar. It wound over his nose and forked a little way up his forehead, the skin around it still red and shiny. He noticed what she was looking at and smiled sheepishly again, staring at the floor.

"Sorry. I forget it's there sometimes."

"Does...it hurt?"

He considered that, then pursed his lips. "Sometimes. Stings a bit."

Though still half-believing this was a dream she stepped forward. Most times she saw him he disappeared when she moved closer, leaving her both relieved and disappointed. One hand still curled around the bottle she crossed the short distance between them, heartbeat starting to pick up when he stayed exactly where he was. When only a few inches separated them she reached out to touch him, hand shrinking back just before it made contact. He smiled again, this smile as affectionate as the one she remembered, and took her hand in his, placing it on his cheek.

"There we go," he said gently. "I'm real. Promise."

It was too much to take in all at once. There were a dozen things she wanted to do, to say (not least pinching herself as hard as she could) but instead she began to cry. He laughed a little and brought her close, letting her rest her head on his shoulder. He was warm, and smelled the same, and he was solid and really _real_. Closing her eyes Murrue held him as tightly as she could, never noticing the bottle that fell from her hand to shatter on the tiled floor.

* * *

( Yes, I know it's weird, but I remembered that scene from 'Valley of the Stars' where she's sitting with a cup of something and she looks across to see his ghost raising his mug to her. It makes me sad, but also made me wonder if she might see him more often. Hard to let go sometimes.

please read and review! )


	15. Chapter 15

Inspiration: i5 .photobuc ket album s/y 151/e l_sa z/Tand em%2 0f elix/m wusd iary .j pg, and a couple of others I'll be happy to give people the links to (and I might have to for all of them anyway bleh)

MxM, after GSD

* * *

"Someone's popular this morning."

"Eh?"

"Go take a look."

Pushing open the door of her office she blinked. "Wow."

"There a card with them?"

"Looks to be." Moving to her desk she picked up the envelope and opened it, a smile crossing her face at the familiar loopy handwriting. "The idiot. These must have cost a fortune."

"Either that or he lifted them from the garden without you noticing."

"Oh, I'd have noticed." Leaning in close she breathed in the heady scent from the flowers. Roses, all kinds and colours - a lovely gesture, but an expensive one. "I wonder what they're for?"

"Didn't he say in the card?"

Murrue studied it again. "It says he'll see me at lunchtime, which I knew anyway." Turning the card over she frowned. "But then this; 'P.S. Happy anniversary!'"

"It's your anniversary?"

"No. I mean.." Confused, she glanced at the flowers again. Anniversary? Of what? They'd only been back together a few months.

Erica sighed, crossing the room to examine the bouquet. "You think he's gotten it mixed up?"

"It's possible." He'd gotten almost all his memories back at Messiah - the doctors still weren't sure what had triggered it but had pronounced him perfectly all right - and most of them were in the right order, but occasionally he did get things wrong. "But then we never really _had_ an anniversary, so I don't know where this has come from."

"Hmm." Her friend pursed her lips, then smiled. "Whatever the reason, it's a gorgeous present. I wouldn't question it, just thank him."

"I guess you're right."

* * *

Just as he'd said, he stopped by at lunch, scarred face lighting in a smile when he saw the flowers. "They made it okay then. I wasn't sure."

"They're beautiful. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Sidling into the office he closed the door behind him, making his way over to her desk for a kiss. "I wasn't sure what kind would be best for a day like today. The flower guy said red, but I liked these better."

"I like them too." She didn't sound happy though, and he angled round to peek at her expression. Worried. Not what he'd been expecting. With a sigh he caught her hand, tugging her up and into a hug.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing. It's all right."

"No, it isn't." Mwu brushed the tip of his thumb over her nose. "C'mon, tell me. It's okay."

She hesitated for a moment, then looked up at him. "How can today be our anniversary? I mean, it's not.."

"You don't remember?"

A little frown. "Remember what?"

"June 14th three years ago. On the bridge of _Archangel._" He watched her think about it, and wasn't able to hide his grin as her cheeks slowly flushed pink. "See? You _do_ remember."

"I..." Murrue laughed, leaning into him. "I couldn't forget something like that. It was just the date I didn't remember. How did _you_ know what day it was?"

"I wrote it down."

"Wrote it down?"

"Yep. You gave me that box of stuff of mine after we got back, and there was one of those desk calendar things with girls in swimsuits on. Sorry," he added at her little 'huff' of annoyance. "Anyway, I'd circled today's date and wrote down that I'd done it."

To his amusement she went even pinker, rubbing at her nose to hide her embarrassment. "W-why would you write something like that?"

"Cause I'd wanted to do it for a long time." He remembered that much, remembered the month he'd spent while they'd been here in Orb trying to find the right moment to show her how he felt. He'd finally caught her alone on the bridge one evening and...well, it had been everything he'd imagined and a little bit more. "Still wish we hadn't got caught, though."

"Me too."

"But after was better."

She smiled. "Yes, it was."

* * *

_"You all right?"_

_"M'fine."_

_He sighed, looking around them at the evening sky. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't know that was going to happen."_

_"I know you didn't. It's okay."_

_"It's not, though. I threatened them with toilet duty for a month straight if they mentioned it to anyone, but.."_

_She smiled despite herself. "But gossip has a way of getting around."_

_"You're not mad at me, are you?"_

_"No." Far from it. The kiss had been something she'd wanted badly - she just hadn't realised it until it had happened. "I just wish.."_

_"Me too." He placed an arm around her, wrapping her in a hug when she made no move to pull away. "Kind of spoiled the moment."_

_"Hmm." Reaching up she covered his hands with hers, smiling at the little flutter of her heart when he rested his chin on her shoulder. "This one isn't so bad, though."_

_"That's true. And the view's much better." The ocean and the islands beyond were turning orange and pink with the end of the sunset, stars beginning to emerge from a violet sky. And just for a moment, she could let herself imagine that this was all there was, no war to fight, no risks to take...just the two of them here enjoying the evening. _

_And when he kissed her again, she returned it without hesitation._

"Happy anniversary."

* * *

( OMG LIEK FLUFFY SENTIMENTAL GUBBINS.

Seriously though, June 14th really _is_ the date of their first kiss.

Please read and review! )


	16. Chapter 16

More fluff for our hero!

Inspiration: photobucket album s/y1 51/ el _saz /Tan dem% 20felix/ sleeping mu rrue -san .jpg (yes I know this place hates links. PM me if you need to)

MxM, during Seed.

* * *

He'd told her everything.

He hadn't meant to at first - had intended to just skim over the surface, tell her the barest details - but somehow it had all spilled out, the guilt and bitterness and loneliness he'd kept locked inside for twenty years escaping along with the words. She'd sat quietly by his bedside, letting him hold her hand as tightly as he'd needed to, and once he'd done had brushed hair and a few tears from his face, smile as compassionate as always.

_"Do you feel better now?"_

_"A little." _And he had. Talking about it hadn't gotten rid of everything - he suspected he'd never quite be free of all of it, no matter how much he let out - but it had helped. And so had she, without even realising how much.

Leaning against the open doorway he watched her for a while, smiling when she shifted and murmured something in her sleep. She'd visited him every day, kept him up to date with everything that was going on and, at his request, had told him stories of her own life and childhood. _She didn't want to at first - she was worried that it might make me feel worse. But instead.. _Instead he'd enjoyed listening. He'd laughed with her at the funny parts, comforted her at the sad ones, and come to understand what a great person she was. _And if she doesn't mind being with me...then maybe I'm not such a bad person myself._

"Are you going to stand there all night?" The soft sleepy voice took him by surprise somewhat, he blinking out of his daydream to see her watching him with amusement.

"No, I...uhh...sorry." Embarrassed at being caught staring he rubbed at the back of his neck. "I'll be going now. Sorry."

A little sigh. "Come on, silly." Getting up Murrue moved across to hug him. "Did they just let you out?"

"Yeah. I should have waited till morning, but.."

"But you wanted to leave. I know." She looked up at him with an affectionate smile. "You can stay here for tonight if you want."

"Really?"

She nodded, though was a bit pink in the face. "I've...missed having you around."

Mwu chuckled. "Thought you'd appreciate the peace and quiet."

"I _did_, for a little while. But then.." She fiddled awkwardly with a lock of her hair. "Then I started to get lonely. And I realised that...I'm not used to that anymore." At his grin she looked away, the colour in her cheeks deepening. "Don't tease me."

"I wouldn't. Not about something like that." Leaning in he kissed her forehead. "Thank you."

* * *

_So __**this**__ is what peace feels like._

If you'd asked him a month ago, or even a day ago what it meant, he'd have answered 'the end of war'. Something they were meant to be fighting for, but something that had scared him far more than anything ZAFT or the Alliance could throw at him. Not the concept - even with no war, there would still be work for a career pilot - but rather the _feeling_ of peace, because that was something he'd never known.

Now, he wanted to laugh. _What was I so afraid of? _Brushing a hand over his companion's hair he smiled as she murmured something happy-sounding and snuggled closer to him. Everything was warm and quiet, the stars shone in through the window, and he was with the person he'd grown to care for more than anyone. It was contentment, pure and simple, and if this was what it might be like if - when - the war finally ended...well, he couldn't wait.

"Thank you."

She didn't answer right away, and he wondered if she'd fallen asleep. Then; "For what?"

"For everything. For...being you."

Murrue laughed, raising her head to regard him with a fond (if drowsy) look. "Just for that? It's not much."

"Trust me, it is." Catching her chin he kissed her gently, tangling a hand in long dark hair.

Not much? It was _everything._

* * *

( AND THE ENDING MAKES NO SENSE LA LA LA

A day early again but hey, it's better than being late! Please read and review! )


	17. Chapter 17

Hello! Like Sherlock, I'm not dead!

Inspiration: i tobucket album s/y15 1/el_saz/Tan dem%2 0felix/19244 506_m .p ng (it's done it again, hasn't it. PM me for the link.)

Neo x Murrue, AU after Destiny

* * *

The card was unsigned.

Turning it over she studied it with a frown. An odd choice for a Valentine's card (if that was what it was) - not a heart or teddy bear in sight, and devoid of any verse or sentiment. Just a plain card with a watercolour-type printing of a rose garden on the front. But if she was being honest, she rather liked it. Over the past few days - for whatever reason - she'd kept finding the other kind on her desk, along with flowers and chocolates. It was nice, she supposed, and a lot of her co-workers (except for maybe Erica) had seemed pretty envious, but she couldn't help feeling a bit uncomfortable about it all. _Too much attention._

But this was the exact opposite. Understated, uncomplicated. A simple 'hello', rather than 'be mine'. And unlike the other cards she'd received, this one had her wondering who'd sent it, and how it had gotten here without her hearing the squeak of the gate or footsteps on the gravel path. The subject of the card gave her no clues - her love of roses was no secret - and there was no handwriting to give the sender away. Very mysterious, and kind of fun. Smiling to herself, Murrue tucked the card into the pocket of her robe before heading off for a shower.

"Someone looks happy this morning."

"Oh?"

Erica leaned on the doorframe, taking in the pile of unopened cards and boxes stacked on top of the filing cabinet. "Well, it's clearly not about _those_, but you've got a hundred-watt smile for _some_ reason, so spill it."

"It's nothing, really. I just feel good this morning."

Her friend's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Nah. I've seen too many of those smiles already today, and they're all connected to Valentines. You've gotten one you liked, haven't you? Who's it from?"

"I don't - I mean no, I haven't." Too late. Looking away, Murrue cursed under her breath as the older woman cackled in delight, coming into the room and closing the door behind her.

"What's it like? Did you bring it? Can I see?"

"It's not really that exciting." Knowing she wouldn't be able to get away with it however, she poked through her purse, passing the card over.

"Hm. You're right," Erica admitted after a moment. "Bit plain for a Valentine's card. And no message. Not even a heart or a kiss."

"That's why I like it. All the others I've seen make you feel...well, obligated. Like 'if I send you this, please will you like me?'. This one's more like someone's thinking of me, but doesn't mind if it's only one way. Does that make sense?"

"Sort of, yes. Not exactly the spirit of the day, but it's kind of sweet. You have any idea who it's from?"

"Not a clue."

A wicked smile. "Any idea who you'd _like _it to be from?"

Murrue shrugged, but inside, her heart gave a little skip. There _was_ one person. Someone who'd come back from Messiah with them, someone she'd spent time here getting to know properly...someone she'd become very fond of. He'd made her cry in the beginning, yes, but that had never been his fault and she'd never blamed him for it. And he'd made up for it all tenfold with his kindness and friendship in the last year or so. So yes, she hoped the card might be from him, though she had no idea how to go about asking, or even if he'd admit it if she did.

"You've gone red."

"No, I haven't. Shut up."

* * *

He was sharing his lunch with the birds when she found him. Sitting on the grass just outside the factory gates, throwing bits of breadcrust up for the gulls to catch. He was wearing that daydreamy sort of smile she sometimes caught him with, the kind that always made her wonder if he was reaching back into his old life. "Penny for them."

To his credit, he didn't jump. Instead he glanced back over his shoulder at her with a grin. "Not worth that much."

"How's Valentine's Day shaping up? Any cards?"

He crinkled scarred nose. "One or two. Hell if I know what to do with 'em, though." A look down at his lap, he picking at the grass. "What about up where you are? Any.."

Erica chuckled, knowing exactly where he was going with this. "She got plenty," she replied, not able to hide her smile at the brief flash of a scowl. "But like you, she doesn't really know what to do with them. All except one, that is."

"Oh?" He peeked up at that, trying not to look too interested.

"Mmm. Just a plain card with roses on the front. No message or anything that says who it might be from, but she really likes it." It was fishing, definitely, and she'd gone into this without knowing if she'd get a bite, but as soon as she described her friend's liking of the card his face lit up in a smile. "And you'd make a lousy poker player," she couldn't help adding.

The Colonel coughed, scrubbing at his nose, then managed another, more sheepish smile. "Walked into that one."

"You did, but that's okay. I won't tell her."

"It'd be okay if you did. I mean.."

"Not a chance. If you want her to know it was from you, _you _have to tell her." And with that she walked off, feeling rather pleased with herself.

* * *

_Easy for her to say._

Neo kicked about on the beach for a while, ocean breeze tugging at his hair and jacket while he tried to think about what to do and avoid going home. There'd be far too many questions. The kid had seen him with the card before, and though he hadn't teased him he'd surely want to know how things had gone. And then the princess would find out somehow, then all the kids, and he'd never get a moment's peace.

_Wish things were simpler._

He'd tried to imagine how _he_ might have done it. No doubt he'd have been able to write something on the card, or maybe even he'd have shown up at her door with a bunch of roses in some annoyingly self-confident way. Not like him, who hadn't even been able to sign his damn name.

_She did _like_ the card, though. _He'd put a lot of thought into that. Almost every one he'd seen had been festooned with hearts and flowers and dumb saccharine poems, and none of them had seemed right for her. He'd spotted that card by chance, it almost hidden at the back of the rack. Roses. She liked those - her garden was full of them - so he'd hoped that might make his card stand out. _And it looks as though it did._

Should he let her know? Would she be mad, or upset? He knew he still reminded her - everyone, really - of _him_, and though he'd been assured it wasn't the case, he sometimes still felt like a pretty poor substitute for him. _I have nothing. No home, no family...no memories. All I have is myself._

But maybe, just maybe, that might be enough. You never knew until you tried, right?

* * *

She wished she looked a bit more glamorous.

Halfway through the washing-up when the knock on the door had come she'd opened it to see him standing there on the doorstep, his smile when he saw her enough to make her stomach turn cartwheels. And there she was in an old shirt and jeans, coated in suds up to her elbows. _Not a terrific image._

"Am I disturbing you?"

"N-no, of course not." Stepping back to let him in she rubbed the soap from her arms with a spare dishtowel. "Sorry about the mess."

"No, it's fine. I should have called rather than just showing up like this. Spur of the moment." Hands in his pockets he glanced around the kitchen, at the leftover spaghetti carbonara still in the pan, at the herb rack Erica and Andrew had gotten her as a housewarming gift, and the little cactus on the windowsill. "Nice."

"Thank you. Can I get you anything? A drink, or something to eat?"

"Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to go for a walk." He ran a hand through overlong hair somewhat nervously. "Just down to the beach. I go there most days to see the sunset, but I kind of wanted some company today. But if you're busy.."

"No," Murrue replied (a little too quickly). "I'm not busy. Only the dishes, and they can wait. Just...I should go get changed."

Another of those smiles. "You look all right to me like that."

"O-oh." Feeling herself blush she fought the urge to hide her face in the dishtowel she still held. "Well then, I guess we're ready."

_Best night ever._

She stood beside him on the beach, bare feet half-buried in white sand as she'd watched the sunset, and though that was what he'd officially come to see, he found himself watching _her _much more. He liked the way the fading orange light turned her eyes to gold, liked the way the little wisps of hair had escaped from her ponytail to frame her face. And he liked the way she smiled when she noticed him looking.

"Sorry."

The smile grew, becoming almost impish. "No, you're not."

"No, I'm really not." Reaching out he took her hand, smiling himself when she curled her fingers around his.

"The card _was_ from you, wasn't it?"

"Yeah."

The sun had almost gone, the sky now shades of pink and violet dotted with stars.

"It's okay that I'm not him?"

She moved closer, warmth and the scent of roses surrounding him. "It's okay. Because you're you."

Tugging on her hand Neo wound his other arm around her waist, smiling down at her before leaning in to kiss her in the starlight.

_Happy Valentine's Day._

* * *

(AND I HAVEN'T LOST MY EDGE. NOT YET.

please read and review! )


	18. Chapter 18

Inspiration: i5 .phot obuck et al bum s/y1 51/el_saz /Tandem %2 0felix/m xmo utside .jp g

MXM, after Destiny

* * *

She found him out on the veranda.

The morning was chilly this high up but he didn't seem to mind that, still in his robe, and he looked up from his cup of coffee with a smile when he saw her.

"Good morning." Noticing the blanket she'd brought with her he chuckled softly. "You should have stopped in bed if you were cold."

"I was looking for you," she half-grumbled. "You could have stayed there too."

He looked apologetic at that, poking at his drink. "Sorry. Couldn't sleep. And they say the sunrises are pretty here, so.."

Murrue sighed and shook her head, sitting down beside him and stealing the cup. "Then you should have woken me. We could have watched it together."

"That's.." He glanced away. "I had stuff to think about. Didn't want to disturb you."

"I wouldn't have minded."

A smile. "I know." Reaching up he ruffled her hair gently. "But _I_ would have. The Director lady made me promise that I'd make sure you got enough rest. You haven't slowed down once since we got home."

She huffed. "I _knew_ you two were whispering about something."

"She and some of the other guys suggested I bring you out here. Good place to relax, they said, and a chance for us to spend some time together, which is what I wanted."

"You did?"

Laughter. "You sound so surprised."

"No, I mean.." She looked away.

"It's okay." He took her hand, squeezing gently. "That's my fault. I haven't been around much since we got back, and I'm sorry about that. I just.." He blew upwards at his hair. "Been trying to work stuff out in my head, and it's taken longer than I wanted."

"That's all right."

A wry smile. "It's not, and you know it. But I think I've gotten it all sorted out now. So.." Another squeeze, and another smile - this one a little shy. "Here we are."

"Here we are." She looked around them. A cabin high up in the mountains, comfortable and rather cosy despite the thinner air. Nothing but us and trees for miles, he'd said.

"Do you like it? There were other places they mentioned, and I _was_ kind of tempted by the hot spring, but it didn't sound too private."

"And you wanted it to be just us?" she ventured, pleased (and relieved) when he went a bit pink and nodded. "Thank you."

* * *

To say he was relieved would be an understatement.

He hadn't really even expected her to want to come out here with him - he'd spent so little time with her over the past six months. They'd dated (sort of) and had dinner together, taken walks on the beach, but it had all been way more awkward than before. It wasn't too surprising, of course, but _damn, _it had been frustrating.

_"It's her birthday soon, isn't it?"_ a friend of hers had said out of the blue one day. _"There's a hot spring resort up in the mountains - Miss Maria really liked it when we went last year."_

That had got him thinking. A bit of research, and plenty of advice from the Director lady - who seemed to consider herself Murrue's guardian or something - and he'd finally found the right place. Somewhere quiet and out-of-the-way, somewhere they could perhaps cross the last bit of distance between them.

And it had all gone much better than he'd expected. Well, almost. Still one more thing he needed to do.

He just hoped he didn't mess it up.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Somewhere you'll like."

"Oh?" There was a smile in her voice. "Are you sure?"

"Course. You're not peeking, are you?" He glanced back to make sure - not that he thought she would be. Her eyes were tightly closed, and she _was_ smiling, which was a relief. "We'll be there in a minute or two." Keeping hold of her hand he continued to lead her through the woods to the clearing he'd found the other day.

"Good birthday so far?"

"Wonderful, thank you." She squeezed his hand.

Mwu grinned, pleased with himself. He'd done his best to make it special - waking her for the sunrise as she'd asked, making her breakfast in bed...anything he could think of, and it felt good to know she'd enjoyed it. "Now, we're nearly here. Keep your eyes closed." Leading her into the middle of the clearing he kept hold of her hand.

"Now, look up."

She opened her eyes - and smiled. "It's beautiful."

"Isn't it?" The stars up here were brighter and clearer than he'd seen them anywhere, even in his vague memories of the desert in Africa. Every constellation was picked out sharply against an indigo sky, and she didn't seem to want to look away.

"Do you miss it?"

She shook her head. "I can see them just fine from here." She glanced down at him. "And you?"

"Less than I thought I would." He shrugged with a grin. "Turns out there's stuff - and people - worth staying on the ground for."

She moved forward and kissed his cheek. "Thank you. For that, and for everything else."

There wouldn't be a better time. "There's...one more thing, actually." Swallowing hard he looked back up at the stars. "Something I wanted to ask you."

Murrue watched him carefully, light breeze playing with escaped wisps of hair but said nothing, which he was somehow grateful for. Digging in his pocket he opened his hand to show her what he held.

"This is for you," he managed, "if you want it. I mean, I.." He looked away, running a hand through overlong hair. "And this is tougher than I thought it'd be."

"You.."

"If not, it's okay, I mean I haven't.."

"Yes."

He looked up sharply. "What?"

"I said, 'yes'." She held out her left hand. "Here."

In a sort of daze he slid the ring onto her finger. He'd gotten it more out of hope than any expectation that she'd accept - he'd been away too long, made too many mistakes - hurt her too much. But...

"Really?"

Murrue laughed, brushing away tears with the sleeve of her cardigan. "Of course, really. Did you think I wouldn't?"

"Kind of," he admitted. "Stuff hasn't been how it used to be."

She poked him in the nose. "How can it be?"

"Eh?"

"That's what you've been worried about, isn't it? That things aren't like they were?" At his nod she sighed, part in exasperation...but also part relief. "Idiot."

Mwu's face fell, his dismay so cute she kissed his cheek again. "Things can't be like they were before, no matter how hard you try to make them be. You're different now - _we're_ different. But that's not a bad thing."

A small smile. "Depends on how different you are."

"If I didn't like - didn't _love_ - the person you are now, I'd never have accepted this." She held up her hand to let the ring sparkle silver in the starlight. "And here _I_ was thinking _you_ didn't feel that way anymore."

His eyebrows shot up. "You were?"

She nodded, a little embarrassed. "You weren't around much, and when you _were_, you were always so quiet. If you'd just _told_ me all of this.."

"C'mere." He wrapped her in a hug she instantly returned, burying her nose in the crook of his neck. "Think this makes us _both_ idiots."

She laughed, and cried - she couldn't help it. "I think it does."

"But you'll marry me anyway?"

"Absolutely."

* * *

( Doesn't scan quite as well as I wanted, but I'm pleased with it anyway. Just something for her birthday.

Please read and review! )


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